To belong

I just want to feel like I belong
But also that I'm not trapped
That I fit in with the crowd
Without feeling like it all could collapse

Because I like to change
I like to be strange
I like my habits
I hope it
Can keep me
Emphatic

And loving the things that I love
While finding new things to also love
I'm ok with breaking the mould
Flowing as fate's fingers unfold

I want to feel like I belong
But labels don't seem to stick to me
I want to join others in song
I just struggle to stick to a symphony

While the crowd that I'm in
Keeps on harmonizing
Such a beautiful tune
I might get it soon
But my tempo
Is solo

And I don't want it to be
I just want to feel like I belong

purpose

I've known people pushing pens through the passage of their lives
I've seen some who strive for husbands, some who strive for wives
Others counting coins like they're trying to cash in a high score
It's like we're all searching for a special something that won't leave us wanting more

Look, I'm sympathetic to a cause but I'm done pausing with no purpose
Cause I know what villains lurk within a life of feeling worthless
I ain't gonna pretend I'm deducing how to be producing a solution
I'm just a fellow sinner friend searching for some sort of absolution

If there is an equation I don't think I'm equal to the answer
I'm just messing around trying to lessen all the inequality
I'm mis-stepping among the stars, no partner to the cosmic dancer
Quavering a tune that I'm not sure was ever meant for me

I can't judge folk who find salvation, even if I don't agree with where they found it
We're all just floating specks of dust who are scared of being grounded
Pretending we can fly so we don't feel foolish when we fall 
Thinking we've found everything if we find anything at all

It's tiring, that driving force to find a purpose that's been steering us since birth
Maybe you're already worthy. Just by persisting on this Earth

 

Brain away

I hate those times when your brain doesn't feel like yours
You're tired, you're ill, you're hungry
You're not you

You can't solve problems you usually solve
You can't tackle the day to day
You can't focus, can't get energy

Touch your arm. It's still yours.
The legs seem the same unless they get pins and needles
There's still the same scars from past incidents
The hair may be messy but it's definitely yours

It's just, inside the head
There's a dissociation occurring
There's a disconnect

The instructions don't come as quick
The nervous highway is... just...
Coordination isn't...

I want to be clever here.
But the lines aren't coming.

I want to feel like me again.

paths of nature

It is only in the realm of plant and toad
That one can take the less-walked road
The streets of men? They do not waver
They do not bend like paths of nature
All designed by careful planner
Formed by ruler, map, and scanner
Designed to help the traffic flow
To quickly quickly help you go

the boulevards among the plants
will still help you to advance
but in a slightly more holistic way
that does not count seconds in the day
formed by a committee that will never meet
the earth streets appear beneath their feet
yet you can ignore it all if you choose to
and start a natural path that's just for you