What do I want to be when I grow up?

When I was young

Or, younger than I am right now

The world was endless

And stretched on forever somehow

There were older people

Who drank bitter liquid from brittle cups

Who asked me, so politely

"What do I want to be when I grow up?"

It's standard question for children #2

Right after "Haven't you grown tall?"

What they meant is "What job do you want?"

But I often had no clue at all

And I'm just figuring out why

What if I don't want to be defined by just my profession?

What if I want to create things outside of 9-5?
What if I'm happy for that to be part of me

but to want to find more reason I'm alive?

And I don't know if I would have had an answer

But I wish just one older head

Had taken young me aside

And asked "What kind of person do you want to grow up to be?" instead

...

I felt the poem ended nicely there, but I'll admit to still not having an answer to that question. And right now I am really having to grapple with it.

I know I want to be kind

I know I want time outside of 9-5 to explore the richness of life

I know I want to not be so tired

I know I want to help others 

I know I want to not grow so distant from friends

I know I want to grow more as a person
But what I want to do?

I still don't know

And I haven't for the longest time