5 March 2014
History: The Greatest Event in History
Many years of research had led to this point you see.
But I finally managed to make my mark on humanity.
The first human to ever speak to the Earth
I wondered what on Earth the Earth would say
Would it critique for how we treated the environment?
Would it tell us the purpose for which humanity was meant?
Or would it make small talk then go on it's way?
Would it be impressed with all we've done?
The fact we've harnessed the Earth, to power our homes
The fact we've recorded our history, written at length in tomes
Or would it hate us with a rage of the Sun?
I said my greetings, and waited for the Earth to reply
In a deep slow voice, it spoke only a few words for our existence
"Oh, I thought I felt something. I have to say I admire your persistence
Well, best of luck. But don't get your hopes too high..."
It was then silent and I realised our vanity
We need the Earth, but we're not a symbiotic pair
It's not that it doesn't want to, but that it can't care
For such fleeting an instance as humanity
26 February 2014
Love: What is love?
And don't worry, this ain't some bullshit hypothetical
From someone about to brag lyrical
About everything love has meant to him
No, this is genuinely a curious question of a stranger to the concept
Someone who's been told a thousand tales
Of how love can cure ten thousand ails
But never the contents of the ointment
Sure you can call me an unemotional husk of a human being
And you may be right but that doesn't mean I'm less curious
of that which people angrily search for until they're furious
Savagely tearing at their own absurd misconceptions of the small word
Is love just lust by another name?
But coated and quilted to look presentable
Pretending to be something it doesn't represent at all
A dark desire lifted as something to which to aspire
Some claim to have found it easily,
Without smugness but full right to feel that way
For achieving easily what will take some to the end of days
Who're wondering nought but what all the fuss was about
Or is it by definition undefinable by mere words?
Love is what it is, there's no clear map or directions
Just a collection of rumours and vague descriptions
And the journey is what makes you worthy
Ladies and Gentlemen, what is love?
Quite frankly I've no idea
And while I'm willing to learn - I'm still unclear
So here's to somehow finding out what exactly love is about.
19 February 2014
Love: Ace Lover
Sometimes people view me as a bit forward and deranged
But that's because I'm not quite sure of myself you see
It might just be I unlock this Ace Lover in me
As it happens Ace Lovers are a special breed
They care deeply about your personal needs
About enjoying life as a whole together
About knowing life can be difficult to weather
Ace Lovers love but sometimes not in the way you might think
They long for true romance, sometimes from the bottom of a drink
But romance not with any other goal in mind
Merely to woe another soul that they find
There is magic in the words and way they speak
There is beauty in the hearts of these loveable freaks
It's not usual you see, almost seen as a mistake
For anyone to fall in love for falling in love's sake
They view no greater aim than being with their lover
For someone who cares you should long for no other
Yes they really are a peculiar but wonderful breed
What a beautiful thing is an Ace Lover indeed
See, I don't know if I'm an Ace Lover, but I know I've got potential
Don't know if it was the way I was raised, or if my genes were influential
But at least now you know what Ace Lovin's about
So if you're an Ace Lover let me here you shout
12 February 2014
Love: Long Distance
Though you're many miles away,
There's no one I hold closer to me than you
Though right now I can't hold your hand
You're still the one helping me pull through
Though when I wish you "good morning"
You may be wishing me back "good night"
Though you may be too far for me to see you
I assure you, you're still my light
The distance is far,
Sometimes it can feel too great
From the space between us,
You've seemed distant of late
Just know I'm holding on
Waiting for the day
When we've saved up the money
When we've found a way
To bridge the distance
The world has put between us
It feels like I've done wrong
Being punished for some crime
Yet we'll stitch up the gap
So well that it seems seemless
So that every time I do see you
We embrace again for the first time
Love, x
5 February 2014
Love: The moon
It'll shine brightly, it'll almost swoon
The great celestial orb will look down on our pairing
So great are we even the moon is moved to caring
It'll see us there, and bless us with moonlight
So let us show our love to the moon tonight.
Mate, fuck the moon.
Fuck thinking you have to be beholden to a lump of rock in the sky
A rock that hides half the time and even then only ever shows half it's face
An oversized pebble that can only reflect the light and energy of others, and produce none itself.
I don't want to be like that. You and me shouldn't hide, even if times are dark.
And we should live off no light but our own.
When we make love, it'll be to the stars
They'll glitter gently from way afar
We'll draw dot to dot over the canvas of the sky
We'll make wishes on any stars that try to shoot by
So lay down with me, and lets take inspiration
Let us show our love among the constellations
Mate, fuck the stars.
Fuck those giant balls of fire hanging in space
That seem nice from afar, but burn any who get to close
Those pinpricks, so many light years away
I don't want to be that far away from you, or to be hurt if I get too close
We shall burn with our own brightness
When we make love, it'll be to the Earth
It'll bless us gently as we lie on it's turf
We'll spin with the planet as it revolves around us
If you listen close you can hear the rocks discuss
How they were made for us alone
So lets show our love on this Earthly stone
Mate, fuck the earth
Fuck this big ball of rock that cares not
We are insignificant to it, and rightly so
We do no matter to it at all, I can honestly say.
Although it may not seem much, you matter to me
We shall create our own world between us
When we make love, I want to express it in metaphors
I want all to realise that you are the one I adore
That the world shall be amazed by our creativity
And the love that is present in our imagery
To describe the love I feel for you
Lets make love like no one else could do
Mate, fuck metaphors
Fuck wordplay as a means of romance
I want to take action and explore this world with you
I want us to know reality, and embrace that for all it is
We don't need to exaggerate to show how in love we are
We shall create and be our own hyperbole.
29 January 2014
Off topic: The voices
And each one of these voices love the sound of their own
They keep bickering and chattering and jabbering and nattering
Until they turn to one tone
And all of these voice, they have one goal
To suggest what they think is best for me
The only problem with this simple fact is
Each one has a different priority
And there is a great myth
The most of all fantastic of lies
That there is one voice of truth
In that grey bit behind your eyes
That if you know which voice to follow
Then life will go perfectly in all you do
You'll make the right friends, do the right job
Naturally you'll charm the love of your life too
The only issue is, I don't believe this one bit
It would be so nice if this were a fact
If it were, the choice would be so simple
Yet I believe it requires more tact
There is not one voice for good and one for evil
Because that would be a simple choice
Life is not like that, it's much more chaotic
Than to be able to follow one voice
Instead, there's many voices, who each know what's best
All want a different something
One always wants adrenaline, one wants sleep
One simply wants for nothing
Some prefer risks, others security
And near all have certainty when they speak
There's so many choices and outlooks to choose from
You could be there for many a week.
And choose you must, use that most dangerous thing
A personal decisional capacity
Don't follow just one, for you'll get closed minded
That path leads to calamity
Life is tough - there's no easy answer
The same approach is not always the right one
Be a wonderful mix of all sorts of voices
Then, you can be someone.
25 January 2014
Colour: The man
He was known worldwide with pride as the sort of man who pushed you higher
Some called him the spark, because he could re-ignite the dullest embers of any flame
But now he needs a therapist, and feels naught but shame
He wanted to colour peoples lives even while feeling kinda down
See there's no jester left for you, when you're the world's clown
For although he's been known to cheer a whole entire town
His is the only smile he could never turn from a frown
Sometimes it's those with the brightest exterior
Those who shine bright, who to us seem superior
They are those who are cursed with the darkest interior
Who really do feel the most inferior.
Now his outer colour is all he has left
While his inner colour is simply grey and bereft
But he'll still do his best, to show that last inner light
To bring colour to your life while on his stage tonight.
15 January 2014
Colour: Eyes
That different patterns and colours sit on the surface of our vision
It can be seen that we all hold different pattern, colour, and tone
Which can be distinguished by a decent optician
But not only do we have different eyes externally
A different eye-based appearance
We also all see the world different internally
We have a different ocular experience
So do you see your vision too often tinted red?
An anger at the world that faces you
Does it all occasionally get to your head
Is it sometimes tough to fight through?
Can you also, though, see with blue
Be at peace with the world entire?
It's not angry, the world has its problems too
It's up to you to lift yourself higher
I know I occasionally have more than a hint of green
I'm jealous of what others display
And don't see the work put in behind the scenes
To make up who they are today
Maybe a drop of brown to your eyes?
A gentleness to welcome a friend
Honesty and sincerity, no person of lies
Or is that brown just a lens and pretend?
But grey is what I fear, no colour is let in
To be tired of the world and all its merry little game
I want to world to expand and brighten!
Not for it to dull and seem all the same
But life is a palette, a versatile mix
And no lens sees the world the same way
Each is personal, deep and complex
So what is yours, would you say?
8 January 2014
Colour: A world of greys
Most people are greys.
Grey personalities
in sharp grey suits
Their grey formalities
Enabling grey pursuits
And those greys,
They like it this way
The greyness is comforting
Their scale blends softly
With greyness embracing
But ending up costly
See, there's a price to pay
To become a grey
The rewards are great
Security and community
Yet along with grey fate
There comes immunity
A resistant shield of grey
A barrier to display
For the comfort of a grey life
You give up a rainbow
As payment for no strife
You limit places you go
For to be grey
Is to live just one day
The greyness eternal
Is a life without risk
So a pox on those prisms of the infernal
What a glorious monochrome is this.
4 January 2014
Colour: Turquoise
What I'm about to tell you may or may not tell you a lot about me.
26 December 2013
Round 2: Next year (and 10 poems I liked writing)
It's been a phenomenal time, and many thanks to those of you that've actually been reading and enjoyed what I wrote. I'm always amazed every time someone's said they've read and enjoyed them. So even if you're only doing it to humour me, thank you :)
Next year, I'm going to be doing something slightly different. I'm still going to be writing a poem a week. The only difference is, this time each month I'm going to have a theme. And, with a one poem a month exception, each poem has to be (at least tenuously) related to that theme. While my writing has got better, I need to get better at being creative with the original idea. So that's what this is for.
Many thanks again, and if you want to find out what it is I've been up to, find a list of ones I liked this year to read. If you liked one then please do let me know. It really does mean a lot.
27: When Science Proposes to Art - Favourite Poem
I don't think there's anything I would do to this poem if I had the chance. I think it's the right length, and it captures my current thinking on why Science and Art are similar (but also different). As a poet/engineer I've had to think about this a lot. There's a lot of doctrine saying if you do this you can't do that. This was me saying that, aside from the whole 'you don't have to do what people tell you' thing, exactly why the two are alike. And why together they are even better.
10: The Beat - Favourite Rhythm/Wordplay
This is my favourite use of wordplay and rhythm. Every time I read this I perform it a different way. While others I love for their imagery and themes, this one I love because it's just so damn fun to say aloud. Go on, give it a go. Somehow it manages to get you comfortable at the right parts and then jarringly change it to make you unseated. I'd love to be able to write stuff with this sort of rhythm the whole time. And I haven't been able to write like this again since March. Ah well.
23: A Gentleman's Rhyming Duel - Favourite to Perform in Future
I can't remember why I thought of this one. But it's use of longer rhymes and the fact it fits with my natural performing style (I know I'm close to rapping anyway) means that it seems to fit very well in my speech. This is certainly one I'd love to perform at some point. Partially because I can do a silly voice. Well, mostly actually. But it's probably the funniest I've done and I reckon it'll get the best reactions.
46: You Are All - Favourite to have Performed
I started out doing poetry as performances. And the reactions of people is why I still do it. I thought up the first 2 lines, and knew this would be one I had to perform. As such, I had a long time (until the next open mic) to try to work out where the poem would go. And, after all that thought, I ended up writing something fairly thematically different (though keeping the main lines). I love the power of this one, and it's one of the ones I've managed to go back and re-write a couple times to improve.
29: Monsters - Favourite Lines
I actually remember strolling down the street when the first couple lines came to me. This happens occasionally, and a basically spent the rest of that trip repeating the lines (so I wouldn't forget them) and then expanding in a few ways on them to find where I wanted the poem to go. I can't remember what the alternatives were, but I'm very happy with how it turned out. It was also very fun to perform, as I did at my college poetry night (meaning it's one of the ones I've sort of got memorised).
13: Don't Look Down! (Up is Far More Interesting) - Favourite Written on the Spot
Written for a friend of mine (hi Aimeé!) this is actually one of my few science related poems. I pretty much wrote this one on the fly writing it as a facebook message (which is why it formated oddly) and then copied and pasted it straight into the blog. I find any poem I'm able to write in a sitting tends to fit together a lot better and finds it's naturally length more naturally. Not being able to edit is both a blessing and a curse though.
34: Roses - Favourite Shouted on the Spot
So, I was at work, and bored. I went for a walk to clear my head. Turns out near where I worked there was quite a nice forest trail. I ended up sitting on a bridge, and performing this one aloud on the spot. I then did so again. A few more times, and I thought I had it. I hurried back to work and typed it up as an email (poems look very different from code, and I kinda didn't want any work people to notice). It's probably the only non-rhyming one I'd ever be happy performing, though currently my only audience have been the trees. Ah well. Also, side note, the initials are a shout-out to a couple friend of mine, but I don't think they read this blog. But they would totally be the type I can imagine writing on trees. I did also have to kinda condense this down from the one I shouted, as I think I was going for a good few minutes before I noticed someone coming in the distance and got embarrassed.
5: The Nod - Favourite Non-Rhyming
I've always wanted to try branching into spoken word. Into just writing a paragraph so powerful it can be said aloud and still works. This is my best attempt at that (so far), though I'm still a little way off. The link actually goes through to a blog by a good friend of mine, where some more of my stuff my get linked to in future. He also managed to improve in a couple of ways the poem. This is why writing to a deadline is a bad idea, but I certainly couldn't have done this year without it.
48: Refuge - Favourite Message
This was originally written for an Oxfam poetry competition. Apparently it didn't fit the 'theme' they had in mind (though they were naturally very kind about it). This is about a very core belief of mine - that of charity. So I find it quite tough to write about, while giving it the respect it deserves. The fact I think I managed it here is why it's one of my favourites.
3: I Am But An Idea - Favourite Marker
The first poem I did where I was proud of it. It took a few attempts, but even though this one isn't as good as I'd like now, I still remember the satisfaction having written it, and thinking how much I liked it. A nice one to finish this post on. It really does show just how far I've come.
Thanks for reading. Really, I hope you liked it :)
#53 The Adventure
It was a seemingly innocent and quiet eve
I set out of my proverbial door
Not knowing the challenges the world had in store
So I braved monsters and demons
Stood toe to toe with the most sinister villains
I developed arch-enemies and other foes
But I also had friends, as is custom I suppose
But every time the challenge came my way
I thought back to that fateful day
I could have just stayed at home
Safe and cosy in a protective dome
I ask myself, why am I out here at all
As I'm being battered down and about to fall
After all, the challenge a was self-imposed risk
There was no need at all for me to do this
And the comfort is alluring, no doubt of that
I could just give up and fall down flat
Accept that the adventure is not my fate
That the danger has been getting too great
But, while all of that is certainly true
I have to look back at what I've gone through
I'm taller now. I have a clearer view
I can see exactly what I was trying to do.
Now, after so long in the wild, a choice appears
One that has filled all my hopes and fears
There's a path that circles back to comfort again
It seems so relaxing and free of pain
I mean, I can still journey out once in a while
Tell myself I can go just one mile
The marathon is just self abuse
It's an offer I find it tough to refuse
But another path branches off to the left
And of comforts it's very much bereft
It requires me to be unique - the monsters have learned
It might best me even with the skills that I've earned
With a sigh and an eye role, I head to the left side
I'm not sure why, it might just be pride
But screw it. What is life but for the battle?
Why do we exist if not to get rattled?
For why comforts are tempting, they're the reward of life
To earn them we have to fight hard and take on the strife
For to have taken on the world and still be able to stand
I can't help but feel that I've emerged a slightly better man
23 December 2013
#52 A toast to Adulthood
Yes, I know, but it'll only take a second.
Come on, please? It's this type of thing I'm going to talk about.
Alright then. Ladies and gentlemen. Fill your glasses and raise them.
As I make a toast to adulthood.
And ignore the fact my glass is filled with milk. Focus.
This is important.
*ahem*
To. Adulthood.
That exact moment when we all became mature.
I hope you all remember where you were when it happened to you.
You were just walking along, jeans round ankles when suddenly, boom.
You pulled up your pants and walked briskly to the nearest store to purchase a pair of slacks.
That exact point where we woke up and realised we needed to apply for a job
Where we all realised there were 'young people' in the world
Where suddenly youth culture stopped making sense
When people instantaneously felt they could rely on us
When we realised how important responsibility was to us all.
When we were able to go to bed at 10 and wake up at 7 every day
When we realised late night parties were silly
And that exact moment when we realised there was nothing we liked better than doing the same thing each and every day, preferably for the next 50 years straight.
Where, just like our parents before us, we suddenly wanted to be sensible
Where, just like our teachers, fun was something that happened to others, and should therefore be squashed
Where you were suddenly aware what taxes were and how much you hated them
Adulthood. Where in an instant you changed into a functioning member of society.
Nah, I'm just kidding ya.
This is a toast to the slow gradual decline of childhood,
And the realisation that it's left adulthood behind for you as a parting gift.
To the slow appreciation that someone actually makes stuff work
That people have been working pretty hard around you your whole life
To understanding this world isn't all fun and games, as much as we'd still like it to be.
To knowing that you have to work a lot of it out yourself, and suddenly being aware that no one anywhere has any clue what they're doing.
To moving away from friends because you don't have time any more, but you'll find time again soon I'm sure.
To wondering how there could ever have been too much time in a day.
To adulthood being the realisation we are all alone.
And this toast is to adulthood. But it's a toast by many. For we have become alone together.
Which just might make it that much more bearable after all.
To adulthood.
17 December 2013
#51 Planning
Where your lifetime's gonna go
You can spend a lifetime planning
All the things you're gonna know
You can spend a lifetime planning
Trying to decide just one decision
You can spend a lifetime planning
Finalising your grand life vision
And I know you
You're the sort of perfectionist
For whom the devil's in all details
For whom every plan has a plan
And plans for what those plans then entail
When your lifetime plan is done
And has been checked over twice
Then you can really start to be someone
Which I guess will be nice
But new surprises will come through
For all plans have their flaws
What then will you do
You who planned 'til you could plan no more
So here's what's up
Everything in life is a balance
And plans do indeed help life run by
But, there will always exist chance
On that you can rely
Sure the future is scary and unknown
And planning can help to that end
But no matter what fate has sewn
You still have to live in the present, my friend.
11 December 2013
#50 Rebellion
4 December 2013
#49 Teaching Parallax
When balanced together, it can seem irritating.
I'm turning it through in my head 'til my mind is a mess
Yet as I grow up and older, I'm forced a new angle on life
I can witness my perspectives slowly shift
So while sometimes this change can be truly devastating
Other times it can't help but be a gift
See, I remember back when I were a lad.
How I thought about education and about learning
And through the forced nostalgia of age
For that time again I'm initially yearning
Then I remember how I behaved. How I acted.
I remember all the embarrassing things that I've done
About yelling and screaming. About bullying and demeaning.
Oh, what it was to be young
See life was clearer back then.
It was binary, Boolean, in black and white
Good and evil were clearly determined
By who you'd got along with that night
And there was one evil clearer than any other
Standing clearly in front of us all
The teacher, controller of our fate and destiny
The teacher, standing so tall
That one who was forcing us to learn against our will
That one who couldn't understand who we were
That person who seemed heartless and cruel
That villain. That scoundrel. That cur.
And yet. And yet. The teacher isn't so tall these days
I'm starting to see life from that view
Looking back, I'll admit, I'm almost amazed,
At what we put our teachers through.
They're trying their best, in a thankless job,
The outsider just doing what they can
And to still impart knowledge, and lessons of life
Ain't an easy job for a man
So now I can see clearer, or at least in a different way
From how it was way back when
First, I want to firstly apologise
For how difficult I can't help but have made it back then
Second, be grateful, that this realisation
Came while I was still learning
Since the way I'm treating those trying to educate me in life
Is slowly but surely turning
And finally I give thanks
And gratitude most sincere, of that make no mistakes
To those who fought through
To teach and educate, for mine and for other's sakes
Who went the extra mile, to show me
That the teacher in class was a person too
And by that I mean, they're tired and flawed
A person like me or you
Yet still they show strength,
Trying to do their best each and every day
For their own reasons
Helping the tomorrow before they become today
So a repeated thanks to my teachers
And to my friends who are bravely choosing this as their career
It may have taken a while, but I assure you at last
You'll find gratitude and sympathy here.
21 November 2013
#48 Refuge
Why anyone on this Earth would become a refugee
I'm sorry. I guess. I mean. I can't really know.
What it's like to not have a home to which you can go.
I've been fortunate. Far more than I'm willing to admit.
Please, I'm so sorry, won't you come in for a bit?
This was a very quick poem (intentionally kept a bit short), done a while ago on the theme of refuge. The people I submitted it to thought it wasn't good enough though. Considering I think this is one of my favourite ones I've written so far, that's a little disheartening, but hey, just means I'll improve for next time.
19 November 2013
#47 Welcome to Nostalgia
The only fear that I have is that you'll love too well it's splendour
You'll be enticed, drawn in, and instantly infatuated
As I present to you the boldest hypothetical ever instigated
Nostalgia. Where you can go back and live in the past
Go back to your birth or just re-eat this morning's good breakfast
In fact it can do both, and intertwine strands of time so fine
So that you'll align any personal timeline highlight you call mine
Yes re-relive your memories for only a minimal fee
We'll even add in this rose tinted filter for free
Oh, can't you see how much better your life could be here
Sure you can stay for a while, of that don't you fear
In fact some of our clientele stay for a long time indeed
They get almost defensive if you try to make them recede
After all it's comfortable here, what on Earth is the harm?
It's good for you, cover the pains of today with this temporal balm
Now I'm nothing if not honest, you see I did mention a price.
It's very small, practically minimal, but this virtuous land, it can be a vice
See while it's good to visit and remember where you came from first
It's like an elixir which can be addictive to those who develop fix for the thirst
But never mind that! Get lost in happy mis-memories and drink the present away
It's scary there, just a few sips and you'll return to a happier day
Maybe you'll come to love Nostalgia, maybe you'll never want to leave
Maybe Nostalgia is cruel, and your time it might just thieve
But aside from all that, why not come for a small trip?
Our drink is healthy, even doctors recommend the occasional small sip
Come on. What's the worst that could happen, do you really need much persuasion?
Come to Nostalgia. Give in to temptation.
9 November 2013
#46 You are all
Let me just start off by saying you all *the* most spectacular fantastic amazing interesting and intriguing *person*, that I have ever seen.
I realise that this might sound a little extreme, so let me take a step back to explain what I mean.
See I guess I'm a passionate guy, But I'd like to think I'm honest too
So I'd like to admit to being honest about being passionate about you
And by you I mean every human soul who I've been lucky enough to greet
You've all achieved this amazing goal, this amazingly crazy feat
And that's:
To manage to make your own way in this feral thing called life
To fight through all the perils and to fight through all the strife
To find beauty in areas that other people don't
To experience cares about things that other people wont
You've all got a past that belongs to no other
You've all seen life go by fast, you've all been a lover
You've all gone through great hardships, you've all gone through betrayal
You've all known what it's like to try you're very best and yet still somehow fail
You are individually wonderful, individually unique
Which all seems fascinating to this happy little freak
I know you do yourself down a lot, that's just how things are
But even when you're down, you're still wonderful, you are your own little star
What I guess I mean is, if you'll excuse me the rambling
Is that life is a game of risks, and I'm not very good at gambling
So I love to meet everyone who took the chance to advance down different paths in life decisions
Which I think is roughly everyone, estimating with fairly accurate precision
You have great personal stories and you've shown great personal strength
Strengths about which if I don't condense I am able to go on at great length
Because when I say you are the most spectacular fantastic amazing interesting and intriguing person, I honestly mean it to be true
But what I mean by that, what I'm trying to get to,
What I mean is that you're quite simply and wonderfully just you
So don't you ever let me catch you apologising for no less a triumph than simply being yourself.
31 October 2013
#45 The Earth Keeps Moving
Can, if they try, make the world stop once.
To make the world see them, to make the world know
That this fella right here is a guy who's gonna grow
It's not too hard, doesn't require too much invention
To make the world make you the centre of attention
Make it acknowledge that, hey, you exist
Isn't that nice, now wont you be missed?
Only, if you've stopped the world, it's a dangerous game to play
As the world respins and curls, commences creating the day
The intertia, might just knock you off your feet
In the type of experience you might not wish to repeat
See now you're behind, trying to catch the world again
But you've had your time, it's just not the same
It knows who you are, now does it really care?
You'd have to go so far, and no it's not fair.
Last time, you took the world by surprise,
And in it's shock it managed to look you in your eyes,
But all it saw was a fool or a dunce.
Who had their moment, and made the world stop once.
However, that's really not the point of this rhyme.
The real trickster can stop the world a second time.
Stop the spinning of this great ball of rock
For the second time to halt both hands on the clock
To have the courage, conviction, creativity and class
To once again manage to stand on top of this planetary mass
So that, for a second time that the world sees you standing right there.
You see the second time you make the world stop, you also make it care.
Because any fool, or any dunce
Can if they try, make the world stop once
But that's not really the point of this advice
For it takes a genius, to make the world stop twice
29 October 2013
#44 Not your typical
Just to say, I'm not your typical run of the mill human being
I'm not like that standard model you see walking around
I'm fully equipped with genuine thought 'n' feeling
With all the latest gadgets that can be found
Look, I can work through maths with 101% accuracy
I can draw art, and I'll only have to start over twice
I can feign culture and pretend to be classy
And, if for some reason you desire, I can feign being nice
Yes I'm the top of the range, the latest trend
Not like those other fakes you see walking around
I can see you're jealous, no need to pretend
I'm unique, one like me is not to be found
But then it hit me. Exactly what I was saying
By trying to be the best, I was being like the rest
With exactly what message I ended up conveying
It mattered not the result, just that I was taking the test
See the flaws in my design are what keeps me different
I don't need to be scared to acknowledge it you see
All I need to do is acknowledge what is most apparent
That I don't need to be better, just to be me
22 October 2013
#43 Birthday
And I did it my way. And yes I'm still here.
I've clung on for life for another orbit of the sun
I've survived much strife but now this year is done
One more to add to my ever building total
Kind of sad, the year is just a number after all...
But in that year that adds just one to my age
While I've dwelled here still on life's stage
I've acted my part in a great many plots
I've thrown my heart into worlds that others forgot
I've moved on a great deal, not forgetting my past
There's been times to stop and heal, others to go fast
There's been a great many memories that were once the present
Hopefully now fewer enemies and who have less to resent
Many friends made, and many friends not seen
Many debts paid and many insights gleaned
There's so much I've done, and forgotten accidentally
But now this year's gone, and wont return incidentally
So when I add up all that I've achieved
I can stand tall with what I've received
Aside from the friends, aside from the presents
And I wont pretend that I mean the events
I can forget all that, and add one year to call myself 21
As where I'm at, and a tribute to the year just gone.
15 October 2013
#42 Maturity
Was the first time I realised that I had cried as a man.
When I decided to accept responsibility when I was blamed
I realised that I was finally mistress maturity's fan
We were never told about this growing up
The difficult parts about becoming an adult
That it doesn't come at one time, a head's up
But a collection of slow and uncertain results
But sometimes you get glimpses of indications
Little hints that Life is moving you along
Giving you a little bit of provocation
After all, the distance we walk is long
Sometimes I feel I don't want to advance
That I'm happy just at this point in the adventure
Feel happy pausing at this instance
Not feeling there's anywhere else I need to venture
But I realise now, I'd hate to be stuck further back
Now I've developed so far
Progress of self is a virtue I'd not wish to lack
And that's when I have my moment of aha
See, although moving on is a scare
It's how we sadly mature
And this realisation, of it's own affair
Was another small personal advancement to endure.
7 October 2013
#41 Out of my depth
It feels kind of insane
How often it's said
That I'm in over my head
Everything is rushing
I'm embarrassed and blushing
Because I should understand
But I'm really not the wanted man
Let me step back and explain
I went to shot the moon but hit a plane
I aimed way too high, and fell on my ass
I wanted to graduate when I needed to stay in class
Learning to reign myself in is not a skill I possess
I tend to go for too much so end up with less
Find myself claiming I'm far more than I am
A hollow shell of a shadow of a man
So as an intruder, I hide my heart
I try my best to act the part
And sometimes, I succeed
I do exactly what I need
I've felt an intruder the entire time
Like an accomplice in some sordid crime
Then people congratulate me after
Pat me on the back and say with laughter
How well I did, impressive and cool
Yet if on that day, I feel a fool
I'll believe them. And pledge to aim higher
Jump willingly from the frying pan, and into the fire.
2 October 2013
#40 What is Courage
It takes a lot of courage to stand up to our enemies,
But a great deal more to stand up to your friends.
In fact, courage comes in many places
But it follows no patterns or trends.
Courage can be exactly what you'd expect.
Some show it by great acts of heroics
Which have an obvious cause and effect
Which are all very lovely and quite poetic
But who doesn't love a challenge ay?
So I'm taking quite minor courage and making a stand
Here is some courage more difficult to display
Here is some courage of which I am a fan
I love the courage of a small kid standing up to a bully
But also that of the bully to admit he's done wrong
To overcome pride and admit his folly
That he's been a bully all along
To the man who's struggling with depression
And has the courage to admit it to another
Who decides to seek help, rather than bottle it up
Is courage greater than almost any other
For the small girl who believes in monsters
That are hiding under her bed when she rests
When she goes to look and confront her fears
She is sure to match her monstrous test
I love the courage to play an instrument even when you suck
The courage to say what you should've said before
The courage to stand up for small principles
The courage to be just a little bit more.
Courage can take many forms, forms others don't understand.
For courage where it seems not needed is almost an adage.
But the first step is always the hardest. And the most worthwhile.
So go ahead and be brave my friend. Have courage.
If you didn't get the Harry Potter quote, then, well, I guess that's ok. But seriously, you should read the books again. Seriously.
21 September 2013
#39 Books
They were all terribly impressive after all.
They contained worlds I could never understand.
Words I could never hope to comprehend.
Books were almost a symbol of adulthood in their way.
A tangible path to maturity,
They were powerful.
Very powerful.
I learnt about books leading men to war.
Growing up a Christian I was taught about one very powerful book indeed.
And there are similar texts which command similar authority.
Books which controlled nations.
There was also the personal level on which they had power,
JK Rowling created a brand new world in books,
A world I spent more of my life than was probably healthy in.
I was taught at school that some books were more powerful than others.
That by studying them, I could tame them.
So study I did. And the more I did so, the tamer that book became.
But books in general were still to be respected.
I read every book I could. Some more than once.
I absorbed other worlds. And they absorbed me.
There started to be a lot of books I had to read.
Yet still, I battled on.
But then the world started to change.
The world went online. And books had to go with them.
While for some this change was welcomed,
I guess I found myself very much part of the old
They no longer had a physical presence.
I could dismiss huge texts in a second.
There was just too much in one place.
Far too much to ever read.
I felt a disconnect from the author.
A disconnect from the words.
Sometimes, even a disconnect from the world within.
Books have lost their power.
I have tamed them, but the victory is Pyrrhic.
A victory I had never sought.
But the world moves on. I just wonder where it will move on next...
14 September 2013
#38 A Demon Dreams On
But I'm still occasionally the one who gets scared
Cause I'm constantly plagued by a single fear
It's unheard of, as a demon who dreams of nightmares
See I threw in my hand, way back many days
I had my reasons for my choices, I was mad
I gave in to Lucifer's temptations in a daze
But that was so long ago when I was barely a lad
And now I'm stuck here. Paying back my debts.
An infinity in which to think things through
And when you've so long to think, you'll sure have regrets
About what your life has lead you to
See I've been told many a time
That my work is for the good of mankind
That those that I'm torturing are guilty of crime
The greatest sinners you ever could find
So I put them through torture, I put them through pain
Basically, I'm a professional plying his trade
And don't get me wrong, like my clients, my skills are insane
Out of millennia of practice, such skills can't help but be made
But my victims they scream, loud and unbound
And though I'm deaf to every word they say
And though worse scum could nowhere be found
And though they deserve whatever comes their way
There's a couple come through that have silver tongues
Their tales can reach even my devil's heartstrings
They scream their innocence as I pull out their lungs
As payment for all of their sins
But even as their screams stop still as they turn silent
Their words can hang in the air
They follow me round, no rest for the wicked and violent
Because apparently justice is fair.
Their claims of innocence ring in my ears
Their pleas will borrow into my skull
As they attack the worst of my fears
They're the iceberg striking my hull
Cause it's possible life and decisions ain't always so clear, it's not fair
That my victims are mentally unstable and torn
But what does it matter what I feel and fear, when I dream of nightmares?
After all, I'm just a demon, and the devil's own pawn.
Context: Recently, a good friend introduced me to the Mechanisms. And I have to say, everything else aside, they write some amazing lyrics. One lyric in particular inspired this, from the song broken horses - http://themechanisms.bandcamp.com/track/broken-horses-2#lyrics
The line is "I wonder if devils get nightmares//Of all of their victims as well". I don't think it's difficult to see how I used this line. I may have taken minor liberties with Christian doctrine here, it was intended merely as a setting for an interesting character viewpoint.
10 September 2013
#37 In which I learn I suck at small talk
Hi.
Whats up?
Not much. How're you?
How am I? Well.
That's kinda difficult.
See, I'd describe myself as kinda complex. A little bit unusual, y'know?
Saying how I am is gonna take a little bit longer than you might think.
I've been thinking a lot about a lot of things in a lot of ways
So you might want to settle down and grab yourself a drink
I'm feeling kinda amazing. I'm luckier than most people in this world.
I've been blessed with a caring family, supportive friends and good circumstance
I was born with relatively few disabilities to stunt my growth
There are only few obstacles on the path down which I wish to advance
But I'm also feeling quite sad and disillusioned
Whenever I see what's happening in the news
I feel sad when I see the media not doing it's job
Yet when it does it's job well I just develop depressing views
I'm feeling optimistic - I'm still young with life to live
I'm feeling kind - there's so much that I want to give
I'm feeling anxious - there's some tough challenges in store
I'm feeling satisfied - screw materialism, I don't need anything more
I'm feeling like the sum total of 1000 generations of natural selection
I'm feeling that I'm thinking too much, with introspective introspection
I'm feeling lonely, a unique sum of genetics within the human race
I'm feeling small, as I realise the vastness of outer space
I'm feeling like a lot of things right now
And I know you do to.
I'd love to ask you to answer with exactly how
It really feels to be you.
But with all things considered
Now I've gathered up all these thoughts of mine
When you ask me how I'm feeling?
I guess I'm fine.
2 September 2013
#36 Thank Yous and Responce
That among the 1000+ people who are friends on facebook
The 1% of you who've seen me link (or maybe 2%)
Who've thrown caution to the wind and given my poetry site a look
And then decided it wasn't as bad as you thought
And told me you quite liked what was written here
And possibly been kind and told me to promote further
I wanted to respond to make myself clear
But first, let me thank you in an unreserved manner
It was really unexpected, that you actually liked my little spiels
It really does make me happy and surprise me everytime
One of you comes and admits my poetry held a little appeal
And while I truly am glad, allow me to be a little blunt
For I'm a sham, and the selfishness of this blog is my vice
For the main reason for me writing this was for me
So I could see myself improve and realise some advice
If you're feeling brave, flick between the start and now
I feel I've already got better than I was before
And I want to keep getting better and better
Until the better of my poetry is rooted at it's core
I know this sounds bad. And I may actively try to promote in the future
But right now I'm not quite there.
So while you're reading this from the comfort of your computer
Let me state right now, I'm really glad you care.
That each view does make me glad.
And people returning to read more is just, well, great.
And if you hang on a bit further until I'm a little less bad
I'll try my best to make it worth your wait.
26 August 2013
#35 The Work Unseen
That behind each masterpiece of art lies work unseen.
That thousands of brushstrokes went into building the technique
That many paintings were discarded in the pursuit of perfection
Into the muscles mastering the precise control and co-ordination
Into having the patience to repeat, over and over, for every flaw
That which is before you is the sum of far more than just the time to create that one piece of work.
But only an artist would understand
You kinda have to be a musician to understand.
That behind each masterpiece of music lies work unseen.
That thousands of hours went into building the technique
That many melodies were discarded in the pursuit of perfection
Into developing the rhythm which will guide every beat
Into having the patience to repeat, over and over, for every flaw
That the work before you is the sum of far more than just the time to create that one piece of work.
But only a musician would understand.
You kinda have to be an athlete to understand.
That behind each masterpiece of athleticism lies work unseen.
That thousands of hours went into building the technique
That many techniques were discarded in the pursuit of perfection
Into the muscles mastering the precise control and co-ordination
Into having the patience to repeat, over and over, for every flaw
That the work before you is the sum of far more than just the time to create that one piece of work.
But only an athlete would understand.
You kinda have to be a scientist to understand.
That behind each masterpiece of knowledge lies work unseen.
That thousands of hours went into building the thesis
That many ideas were discarded in the pursuit of perfection
Into understanding exactly every assumption and justification required
Into having the patience to rethink, over and over, for every flaw
That the work before you is the sum of far more than just the time to create that one piece of work.
But only a scientist would understand.
Yet it took me a long time indeed to understand
That behind each masterpiece of any field lies work unseen.
That thousands of hours went into building the technique
That many techniques were discarded in the pursuit of perfection
Into developing any skill to the point that no one else could imitate it
Into having the patience to repeat, over and over, for every flaw
That the work before you is the sum of far more than just the time to create that one piece of work.
That every thing masterpiece you witness
Is the sum of a lifetime so far
That no truly great work is achieved without great effort behind the scenes
Without all the sacrifice, all the pain,
and all the work unseen
And I think that, just possibly, I'm beginning to understand.
14 August 2013
#34 Roses
13 August 2013
#33 To care about something
I don't know why, but I had this feeling all the way through school
That it was wrong to have any greater goal and mission
That the greatest sin was the pride of ambition
Cynicism is king, scepticism the jester
That the worst person is the one who invests their
Time trying to be an active go-getter
Making fun of anyone trying to get better
All of this, sort of builds into a general theme
That to care about something is entirely obscene
To try to strive in a new direction
Is tantamount to utmost insurrection
And now I regret not doing more
That I didn't have more things to try for
For now the most fascinating people I know
Are those who've been driven be something greater since the word go
Because it's only when you take a stand you can realize you're standing on faulty ground
It's only when you've tried your time many times you can realize what you've found
Only when you've tried and failed and tried and failed again
Only when you've defied all odds can you love your mission
So screw convention, and the idea you shouldn't have a passion
Let's have an intervention, because apathy shouldn't be the fashion
Let's all go out in different directions, please go and stop stalling
This is my open invitation, for you to finally find your calling
5 August 2013
#32 Breathing
Sometimes, I really struggle for breath.
And I have to stay calm.
Can't be mad or fanatic
That way, I walk to close to death
To very dangerous harm.
You treasure seconds
You store them up for later use
Life is more real
The struggle beckons
As you try to reach a truce
So you can still feel
And then suddenly life is back to its normal pace
You're hustling about again, forgetting time is a race
You'll spend days doing nothing at all
Forgetting the moment you hit the wall
Forgetting the sweetness of the first true taste of air after an attack
Forgetting the fleetingness of moments where you didn't know how to come back
Forgetting the alien sound of wheezing coming from no mouth but yours
Forgetting the difficulty of the ground, the feeling of your pores
I have known the value of a single exhalation
Only when you know that can you know inspiration
Take that struggle, and know asthma only highlights what you spend every moment doing
Pull yourself up young muggle, because tonight you realise what is worth pursuing
See, that near death experience has become routine
I can disappear, greet the reaper, and return with absence unseen
It's not often, and normally it's not to severe
But when it is, you'll know if you happen to be near
Breath is short
Words are now even shorter
I become more zen
I'm caught
Possibly down for the slaughter
Life is precious again
Context: So, I've had asthma since I was a young child. Although the attacks I'm describing now have happened only a few times (usually when I've been an idiot and forgotten my inhaler), the feeling of struggling for each breath is certainly genuine. I do a lot of exercise, run a lot, and take my fitness for granted more than I should. It's really when asthma hits that I realise a lot of my natural inclination towards being athletic is more God given than I would like. And maybe, just maybe, it helps me realise how lucky I am, and help me work to push myself harder.
31 July 2013
#31 The Clockwork Man
I want to experience life, in all it's horror and majesty
I want to know my life was not just spent in the same old dive
To make mine the richest of tapestries
To always feel like I'm still alive
24 July 2013
#30 Moment of Clarity
17 July 2013
#29 Monsters
We're either charlatans or freaks
The charlatans, they try their hardest
To be seen as neither 'weird' nor 'unique'
The hide every imperfection
Every blemish that they perceive
Then sell their vision to us
And it's that vision we receive
That this world is not of monsters
You're clearly not trying hard
This world is one of perfect beings
Who are never spotty or scarred
Can't you see how happy we are?
And how perfect we appear?
You know you could be just like us
If you tried your whole life time plus just one year.
...
In this world of Monsters,
I count myself a happy freak
I'm not trying to be perfect
And I don't think that makes me weak.
I will never be the ideal being
They parade around before us
They're tried so hard to pour beliefs into me
I'm practically porous
I am blemishes and scars
Acne, pain and regret
And that ain't no bad thing
I'm proud of it you bet.
Sure I'm trying to improve
I'm not saying in life you can't progress
But there's nothing wrong in being yourself
Even if that self is a mess
You are beautiful, you are flawed
With your own personality
Embrace your weirdness and your oddities
Cause you're a Monster, just like me.
9 July 2013
#28 Awkwardness
To which every reader can certainly relate
I'm talking about when you're talking
And plough straight on, and don't hesitate
Oops, see? You've done it now
You've said something awkward,
It's been said and you know exactly how
And you know you can't just leave it and move onward.
No.
From now, you will spend countless hours thinking about what you just said
It'll hold immense and uncertain power, swirling around inside your head
A thousand different scenarios will present themselves as an option
Things that would just flow over the conversation and soon be forgotten
What if? What if? Your mind will echo for a age
If only I could go back in time, rewrite that page
I could be known as a great wit and connoisseur
Instead now I'm just a local twit, a dumb-ass cur
You're going to beat yourself up for a while I can tell
So let me step in before your own mind becomes a hell
It's perfectly natural to worry about this - it's how social skills improve
But if your mind wants to find bliss, it's going to have to move
For you can say things that can brighten someone's day
That can help and encourage when someone's mood is grey
You don't realise it, but that's what people remember
I mean, you may not relight someone's fire, but you can provide an ember
You can build up and strengthen, that's your gift
What you just said was over quite swift
One time is one time, but what matters is the message you re-enforce
But that's up to what you want to do, of course.
I mean, some people like being awkward.
2 July 2013
#27 When Science Proposes to Art
A summation of two such painful and intertwined fates
Despite efforts to separate, the decided it was far easier to join
As two opposing sides realised they made the same coin
It was the ceremonial joining of Science and Art
An emotional time for the brain and the heart
Both simply trying to comprehend to world in which we dwell
Both had caused healing and harm, created heaven and hell
Yes there was bound to be turmoil, the honeymoon would be short
That there would be debates and arguments worthy of the highest of courts
But for the good times, man, they would rock the world in two
Lifting us higher than either one alone could do
The ceremony was certain to be a most curious affair
For the conjoining of such a conflicting pair
On a beach by the sea lit by stars in the sky
The sort of scene that embodies the very essence of the question 'why?'
The vows were something to help separate the couple
Art wished for turmoil, so as to find beauty in the struggle
To sometimes work apart, so they'd appreciate being together
To go forth sans map or chart, not knowing what storms they'd weather
Science, in their vow, wished for something quite different
For both to work together to avoid being ignorant
To never let ego and pride cloud the road ahead
But even more fascinating were the words left unsaid
For as these two embraced, kissed, and left over the sand
And strolled away, hand in newly ringéd hand
I realised why this was the most beautiful pairing I'd ever witness
For both Science and Art answer to themselves, and no other mistress
There is nothing that can limit the artist's imagination
Scientists' will hypothesise the impossible without hesitation
Together, brand new ideas and possibilities could be given birth
Together, they could truly push the limits of earth
Context: Aesop Rock's "Water" contains many beautiful lines, one of which is:
'When Science proposes to Art beside the peace-filled sea,
I'll be the cat with a ring on the pillow shouting "Finally!"',
which gave birth to this poem.