Beleive in lies

Hey. Hey you.
Let's believe in some lies together.

I want to believe that we will be able to fight global warming.
That we can put an end to sexism
That it's possible to find time for a good book when things are stressful
That we can find all the answers to faith
That we can build a better world
And that true love exists.

Wait, what's that?
Some of those aren't lies?

Well, you may be right.
But they're hard to believe in sometimes

Hey. Let's believe in them anyway.
And if we believe in them hard enough

Maybe they'll turn out to be true

Aesthetics

You want the aesthetics, without acknowledging the origins
You want to be good looking without putting the work in
What's the issue, it's just colour and patterns
Yeah, but they're formed from philosophies and passions

So, before going any further, let me state my thesis
All of design is subject to hysteresis
Which means it doesn't just exist in the here and now
This can seem theoretical, so let me explain how

A loving collage of pins piercings and junk
More than just music, there's the world of punk
It's not just "rebellion" in a marketable form
It's a sign of a world where resistance is born

Punk isn't comfortable, it's anger and rage
Captured in vocal fry and a dirty journal page
So if you want to dress punk, it's good to know
About the feelings that go along with the 'fro

Similarly, I have a love for Hayao Miyazaki
From studio Ghibli, father of Totoro and Kiki
So much care in each animation cell
Shared within every story as well

I'm sure he'd be thrilled, if you were to draw his creation, 
But far less so if you resorted to AI generation
You've not worked as he did, but wanted the feeling
That made that style seem so welcome and appealing

Look, styles change. Anyone can wear or draw anything.
I'm not saying you have to research every note before you sing.
But it's not only enriching, but respectful to the creator
To research an aesthetic before you become an imitator

If you like an aesthetic, acknowledge the origin
Know why it means so much before you add your spin
Combine it all with your own philosophy and passion
And find an honest place in the world of fashion

A rush of confidence

It's not that I feel unstoppable
Like I can't fail, like I can't fall
It's just that, when supported I feel able
To give a try to anything at all

And if I do falter in my steps
I will find supports by my side
There will be no regrets
Just a gladness for having tried

The depths may be deep
But I will not be left alone
There's a hope I will keep
For those only separated by phone

It turns out, all the confidence you will ever need
Comes from friends who want you to succeed

***

A little love letter to Hi-Fi Rush, written to my favourite song of the soundtrack: Whirring by The Joy Formidable

Nephilim

Oh Nephilim, you giants of the ancient world
Who stood above the heads of all the rest
Physical stature that unfurled
To make them seem like the very best

You fallen ones, once sons Godly
Now lie near-forgotten in the dirt
Just some words in scripture's body
For your figure, descriptively curt

So we do not know if your height was real
Or simply rhetoric for fragile men
Whether you walked with mighty heel
Is now all but forgotten

It is comforting, if sad, that time will erase us all
All we are and have ever been
Save for maybe a word of our fall
Like that of the once mighty Nephilim

If the world does end

 If the world does end
I hope we get a chance to say goodbye
To embrace those close to us
And share a final meal together

If the world does end
I hope there's a chance to say a prayer
Try to come to terms with what will happen
And make up our minds, at last

Mostly, I hope the world doesn't end
But if it does, I hope there's a chance
However brief
For us
In our final moments
To show our humanity, once more

Mind on repeat

An assault of thoughts
Within your own mind
No escape
No exit to find

You normally distract so easily
So why not now
Such arrogance
That you can think your way through this somehow

Thought. Thought. Thought again.
Brain on repeat.
Thought. Thought. Thought again.
Give in to defeat.

The solution? 
Force yourself into the world
Make your brain process new information
See friends
Absorb art
Create art

You will notice the thought by its absence.

Those that control us

Sir? 

 Yes private? 

It's the people, sir. They're doing nothing, sir

 Nothing private? What's the problem with that private? 

They're doing literally nothing, sir

Managing to ignore their algorithm, sir

The one designed to seize their mind

To make them angry at things that don't matter, sir

Instead, they're reflecting and praying, sir

Meditating and staying still, sir

Remembering how to think for themselves

How to not react to every thing, sir

Their neurochemistry is resetting, sir 

Their grey matter is rewiring, sir 

They're remembering they aren't their algorithm

And we need to do something about it, sir 

 Ah, well, can't do nothing private. 

Yes, sir

Very good, sir

I'll see to it, sir 

Just after I've watched this video, sir

***

Written at Wildfires 2026

Unearned love

In all the worlds below and all the world above
There is no greater gift than unearned love

Love. That which supports our very soul
Which lifts us up and makes us whole 
Which heals the wounds that cut our core
And makes us wonder how we coped before

With this gift, you will see life anew
No longer does the whole world stand against you
Finally, after all you've tried and tried and tried
Someone loving is on your side

The only condition, through time and space
Is to accept this gift of love with grace

***

Written at Wildfires 2026

Running on Empty

I'm stretched, depleted, but not yet defeated
I'm the last little light that they haven't deleted
I'm running on fumes but not yet empty
The last gasps of a flame that still shines plenty

So imagine what I could do with a bit more fuel
Imagine how bright I'll burn when I'm a bit more full
With more oil in a lamp to light a way
I'm asking for energy so lord I pray

I'll keep on the spark with whatever I have
I'll do what I can to make you glad
But give me more, if you deem it right
And I'll try to burn right through the night

***

Written at Wildfires 2026

Natural Inspiration

The more I learn about engineering
The more I realise we're just doing our best to copy nature
From neural network to polymer silk
The world is a guide on our adventure

And I'm not saying it's everything.
I've yet to see a naturally occurring nuclear plant.
But it's more than you might think
Guiding your world since you were an infant.

It's not that engineers aren't smart enough to think up our own ideas.
We're just smart enough not to ignore the obvious inspiration.
Nature has had many years to solve it's problems.
So lets save ourselves some perspiration.

So don't be too cocky, thinking we've grown beyond needing nature to strive.
Nature will always be a source of inspiration. And, well, also a source of what keeps us alive.
       That bit's important too.

Overheat

It doesn't matter how strongminded you may be
You will still start to collapse in the heat
If you're unable to find shade then your philosophy
Will run up against an automatic defeat

Oh, smart young boy with will of iron
How easily you are brought low!
Your efficient machine with a fire in
Has been stoked by too much bellow

Now is not the time for action
Except action to stay hydrated
You may thirst for new ideological faction
Only once your actual thirst has been sated

We are, all of us, mere chemicals and biology with a little bit of spark
We all are victims of our surroundings, and need both light and dark
You are your body just as much as you are your thought
Do not overestimate yourself, a miracle who needs support

Supporting art

I enjoy analysing art
Not just because I learn more about the art and the artist
But because I learn more about myself

Art with no creator
Feels hollow

I want to learn about the choices we make
How our decisions
Make us become different people

I want to reflect
To see my own shape

So let me stay genuine
Supporting the arts to exist
And stay interesting

Fellow fixers

This might be a broken world
But it's the only one we've got
So rise up fellow fixers, 
And give it all you've got

I can't promise success
That we get it in one piece
But we can heal a crack or two
Make some hurting cease

So rise up fellow fixers
Even when things seem tough
The list goes on and on
We may never do "enough"

But one day we'll look back
At all that we have done
Grateful for the work
We almost never begun

Being aware

We can hear each other now, but it didn't used to be this way
See on this little ball of rock within the milky way
We've climbed up all the mountains and we've sailed across the ocean
We've lain the lines of sparks that keep the world in motion

So now we hear the words in languages not our own
The tales of the leaders who may soon be overthrown 
We can hear two sides to the story, not just the ruling class
The truth is waiting for us, we only have to ask.  

No longer can propaganda rule us just through fear
The calls for help are out there, for as long as we to choose to hear

Redemption worthy

We all love a redemption story, and yet we can only stomach so much sin 
You have to be careful with how flawed you are to begin
Otherwise we judge, we view you as simply "bad"
Not worthy of the forgiveness the rest of us have had 

Humans are not a crafted narrative, falling in 3 acts 
We're simply trying to live, and hopefully not collapse
We take 3 steps left for each step back, moving forward once in a while
Even when the focus is on us, we rarely move in style

Find the family that believes, and the friends to follow through
We need support and structure, so you can define yourself anew
It doesn't have to be a clean or well written story
Just a realisation you are no longer who you used to be

Steroid sports

"They should let the athletes go on steroids"
Seems to always come from a particular type of folk
Often personally defensive and paranoid
Yet claims that you can't take a joke

Saying not as an aside or a stray idea
But something they really feel
So earnestly that I tend to fear
They don't think the athletes are real

Steroids harm your health. You know that right?
It's short term gain for long term loss.
You want a flame that already shines so bright
To explode. For them that's a fair cost.

I don't claim to have competed right at the top
But I have been close enough to witness
The barriers that would make a normal person stop
The pain towards trying to reach peak fitness

Try their regime for just a week, maybe just a day
And realise it's a human in those shoes
Yes there is joy and glory that make them that way
But it's still a tough life to chose

So, if after all that, you think it's not enough
It's worth the health of a human for a higher score
I think the issue is that you're just fake tough
Jealous of those that get to achieve more

Memory mirage

The past was real, we just don't live there anymore
It's our foundation from a time before
Forever gone, it seems condemned to be
Only accessible through memory

The memory, that flawed database
Not able to recall the details of a face
Just...the outlines of what I once lived out
Faded by nostalgia and years of doubt

And though my neurons seek to rewire
Capture new worlds with which to inspire
I must not forget the past I used to know
Lest it become a place I may never go

Emotional effort

It takes effort to be thankful
Which makes it all the more worthwhile
It takes effort to be spiteful
Where people go the extra mile

These are not passive states
But consume our supplies
Do not procrastinate
But seize all "how"s and "why"s

Be honest with your emotion
And see it in others
The level of devotion
Within all life-lovers

Let your chemicals heighten the person you wish to be
So that you can be truly you, unashamedly

Doubting

I'm not sure if I'm doubting myself, or I'm just doubting my possibility
I don't know if I'm living my life or just living what fate has given to me
There's chances to advance in so many directions
But I'll often just go with the flow of my current convection

And I'm sorry, Me, but I'm not done believing in us just yet
We may be gambling with energy and time but I'm still taking the bet
Leave the treadmill and instead fill your map with paths into the unknown
It's fine to whine and understandable if you plan to moan

Just, move forward while you do it.
Do whatever you need to pursue it.
Dragged feet are not stationary
Starting to open your eyes still counts as being visionary
Embrace the moment but don't stay there forever
Because storms are coming you're gonna need to weather:

Injury. Grief. Disease. Time. 
You can't just sit and wait for your optimum prime.
This might be all you ever get. Right here, and right now.
A sense of who you want to be and a chance to figure out how.

Seize your opportunity using whichever cliché will get you on your feet
Stop doubting, and live a life that you'd be proud to repeat

Writing differently

Put simply, I can pen a pretty poem
Give a little guidance on where you want it going
So I can see it sail to the harbour you desire
Finish with a flourish and set the theme on fire

But I started out so simple, writing in one way
I've been exploring ever more and delving every day
And now I know I need to neatly make a choice
To completely capture a calling, I have to pick a voice

I have learned, with time, my tendencies and traps
So I can construct a concept that my craft will not collapse
Not be guided by my ego but gives purpose to immerse
The inkling of individuality to each and every verse

Just an opinion

"It's just an opinion",
I hear in defence
"It's just want they think,
why take such offence?"

Well, you see,
Our opinions kind of form who we are
How we treat others
Which roads we walk, and how far

Where we spend time
Which causes we choose support
Where we compromise
Which battles are worth being fought

Our opinions guide how we vote
How we spent the money that we earn
Whether we take court cases
Whether there are people we should spurn

Opinions do an awful lot
And they can tend to build traction
I think many people have forgot
How ideas can lead to action

Sapling seed

Oh sapling who thinks themselves a tree
Do not deceive yourself any longer
Just because you are no longer a seed 
Know you must still grow stronger 

Yes, you now have roots 
But if you try, you can spread them so much further
You're starting to show your fruits
But you must find who your fruits are meant for

It is one of our greatest follies, to think our growing can be one day be done 
So grow, grow little sapling. And you will find no limits to the tree you will become.

***

Another shared poetry challenge with my good friend seashine.footsteps on Instagram, on the theme "growing strong" (I'll link to their interpretation once they have it up)

For Tom and Emily

Marriage isn't just the celebrations, it's the moments in between
The gaps between the breaths, the things you truly mean
The uptime and the downtime, all of it together
Standing tall in sunshine and in rainy weather

And, in a way I can only say to a housemate and companion of many years
(and maybe future junctures, where lucky chance appears)
I want to say thank you Tom, for being a good friend
We managed to stand together when the world seemed about to end

Memories don't disappear, even if they slightly fade
Watching sports and eating haggis were fun ones to have made
So go make many memories, keep him busy Emily
Good luck to you on your next steps together, whatever they happen to be

Enjoy your union forever, especially this biggest day
But treasure the other seconds too, in every single way

Being different

Other than being different to everyone else, what is wrong with dressing colourfully?
Embracing a spectrum that doesn't seem permanently wintery?
Could it just be, you saw me dressed different, and wanted to have something to say?
Try a little light humour to help the conversation on it's way?

I have said a lot of wrong things, from just wanting to say something
It's not a bad inclination, but there's trouble it can bring 
Trying to force a thought or four into an uncertain situation
When the person in question wasn't seeking validation

There's points in life when you're not trying to cause a fuss
Just being yourself, rather than being something to discuss
Rather than being the centre of someone else's life lesson
You have to defend yourself from a well-meaning question

Now, I like dressing in colours and I have a lot of reasons
We all have a proclivity to dress towards our favourite seasons
And I've had wonderful discussions about aesthetics and philosophy
From people who think and dress a very different way to me

But do take a second, and consider whether your query is just cover
For the discomfort you discover when we embrace our differences from each other


***

For clarity, I almost always enjoy discussing my aesthetic with people - as long as it's genuine. But there are times when I feel like I'm on the defensive in what should be a friendly conversation, and that can feel uncomfortable. I've also been on the other side many times, when I've spoken up about something that seems odd to me and not realised I'm making someone defend being themselves. 

Choices and outcomes

It's the most beautiful and dangerous thing we ever realise
Sometimes, the right choice, doesn't lead to a good result.
And a bad choice can end up working out for the best.
It's a saving grace, and a curse to us all.

How, in the weaving and changing world, are we ever supposed to figure anything out at all?
When randomness can govern the strands of fate, is it even worth building a foundation?
We deeply want there to be a philosophy behind it all
Some feeling that it's not just chaos which strings us along

A lottery ticket with a last dollar could actually be the correct decision
Procrastinating and then finding out it's raining anyway
The world gave you imperfect information, and you tried your best
But your best didn't end up being the option you needed that day

It helps us relax, by knowing there are things outside of our control
Teach us that it's good to leave some room to breathe
But it also helps us become complacent
Let's us think we made the right choice, but actually that one wasn't fate, it was you

Policy and governance cannot solve the disorder within humanity
But that doesn't mean there aren't better options
You will never solve the whole equation, but maybe under certain conditions
You will gain some sense of how things work

So, dear friends, let us pledge to keep trying to understand that which we can never know
Gain some familiarity with where turbulence make take us
So that, when navigating these tricky waters
We may sail a little longer on our journey

Remembering good friday

I feel guilty, when the greatest story ever told
Feels overly familiar, stale, and cold 
Maybe because I first heard it when I was a child
So I didn't appreciate that it was truly wild

Let me not stop feeling grief
For a sad story I've heard a hundred times
Let my feelings of injustice never cease
For those falsely accused of crimes

Familiarity can lessen empathy
But only if we let it
Just because something was always meant to be
Doesn't mean we should forget it

So let your eyes well with many a tear
Let the story be alive and live right here
Understanding the weight of the greatest sacrifice
Driven by the greatest love, of the saviour Jesus Christ

Pronoia

I'm sympathetic to people who are paranoid
Because it's hard to know what fear is irrational these days
But there is a greater dread that can come from the void
Paranoia is a feeling that life is even worse than it portrays

The world is so cynical, so here's something new
Whose aim is to do good and nothing more
Once you know it, it's something you can't undo
Pronoia, a conspiracy you'll see is worth fighting for

And though this premise may make you laugh
Pronoia states that the Universe is a conspiracy on your behalf
Act of kindness done without needing credit
Favours shared silently without being in debit

There's goodness happening around this earth
People helping one another to counteract fate's curse
And its definition spreads just by being taught

Its a two-way conspiracy, and we need your support

Help others without reason, we're a kind employer.
The world is fighting for you. The world is Pronoia. 

***

Rewriting the intro from my pronoia poem from 2012. I wanted to perform it, but I think the start came off as slightly downplaying legitimate fears (and also was a little bit long at points)

Racist

I do wonder if there's a difference
When I label someone a racist
Or I label someone as a person with racist views
(sub in homophobic, ableist, or transphobic if you like)

See, when someone is racist, that's a character trait
Something I can't change about the person
They are them, and they are the other
And well, maybe they've earned that title

And I don't seek to lessen what they do
With the views that they currently hold
People do need to be called out
But, well, ideally called out in a way that gives them a way to change

But I think it might be better to hate actions
Rather than the person themselves
It leaves the door open for redemption
A future where they are just a person with views

Live life

 I'm very sorry, but I've decided I'm going to live my life to the fullest
And you aren't going to be able to stop me.

I will enjoy the sugar within my favourite cereal
I will try a new outfit to see if it suits me
I will sing if the right song plays on my playlist
I may even dance in the rain if I'm dressed up warm enough

I will work hard at creating art so I can tell my story
I will travel across borders to broaden my horizons
I will talk to new people and find them fascinating
I will take up a new hobby and experience the joy of being a beginner

And I wont stop myself there

And I will not let you embarrass me
And I will not listen if you mock me
Except to misinterpret your words as compliments
As I see the world in a new light

I will live many lifetimes, all squashed into one
And I refuse to regret the fact that I am not perfect
So I will embrace my failures and use them as stepping stones
While I witness all life has to offer

And I am so, so sorry
But I've decided that I will not let you stop me, anymore

Voices

 To the voices in my head

I need you to speak louder
To raise me from my slumber
Allow me to rest when I need
But after, help me to proceed

Remind me of injustice which I have briefly set aside
Help me seek adventure and to keep my boarders wide
Yell of the urgency in which I need to act each day
Please, voices, help me paint myself in a way I want to portray

Don't be cruel, but please be firm
Give me fuel to serve my term
Make use of time upon this Earth
Not to seek some misguided worth

But, voices, to connect the world behind my eyes
To seize the moment, and to help me rise

The roads we talk down

Who would want to recreate the Earth,
    When we already have such a joyous one to explore?
Why pretend you've built it all since birth
    When you can marvel in everything that's gone before?

What infrastructure, in road and rail
    To allow us passage to places we've never seen?
 Without it we'd be telling a sorry tale
    In fact, would we ever be able to say what we mean?

See I've travelled the dictionary highways
    Venturing boldly through linguistic lanes
Merging to dialects and dark alleyways
    To find the most delicate refrains

What joy, when navigating old texts
    To find a snicket phrase not often tread
Or to see ley lines of convenience forming next
     To slang that will one day be formally bred

To be self-made would surely be miserable
    Rejoice in those that helped tamed the absurd!
There is a wilderness of syllables
    And danger in an unmapped word

In fact, for those with patience to see it through
    I would venture a path that made seem perverse 
Rather than build your own language structure anew
    Build on ours, and lay down a verse

A helpful void

Hello void,
I've come to yell into you again for a little while
Thanks for understanding

Look, I need to yell at something right now
It's might fault I need to yell
And I try not to yell at myself as much these days

So, well, I'm afraid I'm going to yell at you for a little bit
Sorry about this
Well, here goes.

.

.

**AAAAGGGGHHHHHHHRRHHH****HH*
*UG!HCHMA*
WH*ATSYAFI*CH!AMJI!!NF@UTCHA
YEahhh

.

.

You do good work, you know that void?
We all overflow a little sometimes
And you help to control where we flood

Well, that's me for now
Thanks for being there for me
Until the next time, void

Crossing Steins;Gate

Would it always have happened this way? 
I have to know, would it always have happened this way? 
If I could reverse the sands of fate
Return existence from a chosen date
Trying, desperately, to alter this hour...
Could I be trusted with such power?

What would I do, trapped in a day
For months and years I stick and stay
Seeing fate's plan, again and again
All of the joy and all of the pain
The only changes to make are mine
Akin to the burden of the divine

The world is against you
But you've been given a chance
So what would you do?
Do you dare advance?

Self-care | Self-indulgence

           Self-care | Self-indulgence

 Rest | Sloth
Nourishment | Gluttony       
Dedication | Overwork  
   Reprieve | Entrapment
        Self-belief | Overconfidence

Where is the line?
Where does it rest?
Between pushing too far | And trying your best       

Leave your comfort zone
Find a safe space
Work with others | Win every race      

                Finish first | Don't put others down
Be a good leader | Reject any crown 
You can do anything | If you accept the cost 
Enjoy the adventure | Don't get lost             

Well-meaning advice can lead to different actions
Leave us torn up inside with fighting factions
The tightrope we all walk is ever so fine
Goodluck, my friend, in finding your line | 

Peacemaker Vs Warmonger

    Dear peacemaker, do you see yourself in your foe?
    Dear peacemaker, do you trust in what you know?
    Can you hold your nerve in fragile times?
    Accept differences, even forgive crimes?

    Dear warmonger, how far will you go?
    Dear warmonger, do you hear those below?
    Will you take a stand with the ultimate cost?
    Will what you gain make up for what is lost?

How is it, that we defend our ideals?
We all have a route that naturally appeals
But are you willing to see that road to it's end?
To finally find out who is really your friend?

If it is worth the cost to split us down into factions
Peacemaker, warmonger, do not be blind to the cost of your actions

A cup of worry

Do not treat those moments lightly 
Where understanding drips from every syllable 
Just sounds 
But the sounds you need

So full of self-doubt that it's shocking there's room left for anxiety 
What does it mean to overflow? 
Not much, if someone is there to mop up the spills
Without making you feel guilty, as if the chore is a joy

I hope I can be that person for others  
Reassurance, needed but not asked for 
Yet delivered anyway 
As many times as is needed 

I'm not sure why my brain sometimes assumes people hate me 
But I'm grateful for the friends who love me beyond such logic

Resolution

It is the month of inspiration
Of doing things
So why have you not left your couch yet?
Don't you feel bad?

Look around
At the image everyone else is projecting of themselves
Loudly

It is no bad thing to want change
To gain higher control of your body
Make yourself achieve things
Become the image you draw of yourself

And sometimes there was energy when there didn't seem to be any
And sometimes there isn't
I am still learning that coin flip

We have limited time
Just like we have limited steps
But that doesn't mean we can run every moment
Particularly when it's dark out

You are still figuring yourself out
Keep moving, keep growing, at whatever pace you can
Go too fast, go too slow
Things rarely go right at the first attempt

And, if the month inspires you, seize that inspiration
If it doesn't? Well, don't let it deter you instead
It is just January.
And you can resolve what to make of that.

People who don't believe in themselves anymore

I love to believe in people who don't believe in themselves anymore
Cause I still see who they are at their core
I see things to admire, I see what they can be
Things I know aren't just visible to me

It's not an easy journey, I give a hand when I can
Cheering them on as their biggest fan
And slowly, slowly, I get to watch them grow
To become the wonderful person I already know