College Proposal

I want to give you everything, to give you the world if I could
But sadly, I'm just a guy, and unilke you, I have my flaws.
If I could, I'd take the stars from the sky and give them to you right now
But I couldn't walk that far away from you to be able to get them
I searched for ages for non-lethal non-poisonous flower that could match your beauty so I could lay it in your arms
But I couldn't find one pretty enough
Had I time, I would learn ever musical instrument and play them all at once for you in an amazing concerto
But no time will ever be enough to learn skills to match yours with a ukelele
Were I rich enough, I would buy you all the jewellery in the world, so you could look even prettier.
But sadly, I can't afford any, and anyway, you don't need jewellery to shine.
Well, actually, I could afford one thing.
I hope you'll do me an honour by accepting it.
Abigail Rose, will you marry me?

***

I'm going through and archiving all my pre-2013 poems (in 2025). For context - in Oxford you often have "college marriages", and are then given "college kids" (2 freshers) to look after and help when they get to Oxford. And also, as an escape from the stress of a degree, it's quite common to go a little over the top with the proposal. I like to think I managed that. I believe this was from a boat club Christmas event - I asked the band for the mic and proposed in front of everyone. 

Fifth Week Blues

This is for everyone who’s feeling those fifth week blues,
And who felt it fourth week and third week and second week too
For those who've been pressured since their first essay deadline
please lend me your ears and please give me some time.
I came here, not knowing what I could expect,
Whether I'd be a class 1 loser, or someone with respect.
Whether I'd be the party animal, dancing every time you look,
Whether I'd be the future first grader, head always in a book.
I didn't know, whether for the first time, I might have to drink.
I didn't know, whether for the first time, I might have to think.
Whether there'd be so much work I might start to drown,
Or whether I'd rule Oxford in my sub-fusc gown
So I hope all of you are starting to relate
To how I was feeling when I first came through those gates.
Somehow survived the interview, somehow got the grades,
Now it was into this foreign world to invade.
I was so scared, I was near paralysed
But with all the thousands of thoughts going through my head, there was one I hadn't realised
That, everyone else was in a similar position
That thought had somehow slipped my intuition.
That everyone was so friendly, and I really wasn't prepared.
To be part of a college where everyone cared.
That I've yet to meet a single person here I dislike,
And that’s an honest feeling coming from this mic.

But that’s enough of the past, let’s take a step to the future
And remind you you aren't all just statistics on a computer
That from this point, I don't care what grade you get
Because, to me, your grade doesn't equal your effect.
What matters is your personality and the stories you create
Not whether you've handed in one essay five minutes late
But, I'm happy to say I've no idea what’s going to happen next
What relationships will form, which questions will leave you vexed
Who’s going to be the person I see every day for the next 4 years
Who’s gonna achieve their dreams and who’s gonna conquer their fear
But like I say, I've got no idea
I've got no crystal ball, the futures not clear.
I can't predict the weather, my tea leaves are dry
And I ain't wearing the contacts for my half-blind third eye.
But just consider, while you're bemoaning your fifth week blues
What you thought that oxford was gonna mean to you,
Whether you're still scared or you still have fear,
Or, perhaps, in a few weeks, that you're gonna miss being here
That you should just enjoy your time, and stop trying to moan
Before you have to leave and go home.

Just remember you are all intelligent, amazing, brilliant, charming, friendly, unique and distinguished people. I'm gonna miss everyone of you. So stop being sad, and lets have an amazing time.

 ***

I'm going through and archiving all my pre-2013 poems (in 2025). This was my first open mic poem, and in a way the poem that started it all. Written and learnt in a single day. From this, I ended up starting Mansfield Poetry society with Lottie, which led to me writing a poem a week. If you've scrolled to my first poem - hi! The challenge started in 2013. This is just here for my own history.