One more canvas

I'm just trying to make something
So why is it so hard?
I'm just trying to put down thoughts
It's words. Just words. That's all they are.

I've accepted that not every week will work
That sometimes I'll make a poem just for me
Still. It's a struggle.
Me vs one more canvas I have to beat.

And because I'm a bitter man.
I refuse to let the canvas win.
Great - I manage something.
Next week it will be back again.

Sometimes it's a joy.
I've had months where I can't wait for each poem to be heard.
Other times it's one poem at a time.
One more verse. One more line. One more word.

But here's the thing I have to remember:
Those poems made through struggle? Some are treasures.
Not all. Many I want to forget.
But it's worth it for the ones that I remember.

It's why I try so hard.
Why I'm still writing right now.
Create. Later me can improve it if he wants to.
For now, just get something down.

Freedom of debate

Is there anything richer than fruitful discussion?
Ideas flow like music, with words the percussion
A shared venture which leaves all involved enlightened
Leaving at last with one's philosophy heightened

But it is a bitter fact that must be recognized
Not all discussions are worth being realized
I used to treasure all debates in a manner quixotic
As I now realise some simply end up as toxic

I am not scared to debate you. It's just not worth my time.
You don't seek a shared truth, you want to disprove mine.
You're willing to attack me, as well as my thought
If you think it'll garner you an upper hand in the court

All are welcome to say and think however they chose to
And, if you're just in your ways I'd love to chat with you
But free speech does not mean you get to yell in my ear
So please, be quiet. Lest you disturb the discussions happening here.

Inspiration: https://psyche.co/ideas/in-nyaya-philosophy-only-some-debates-are-worth-having

I want to speak on trauma

I want to speak on trauma, but I don't know what to say
I don't want to see my friend suffering then go about my way
But I've still got so much learning so much listening I need to do
Before I can give help, I've got some growth I need to go through

So that I never pretend I can simply swoop in with the save
So that I know there's no magic wand I can pretend to wave
But I still want to lift their burden, help a little off their load
Walk a little in their shoes and help ease the debt they're owed

When I do speak on trauma, I will show I truly care
To be a friend in need by being a friend who is there
To not speak down in platitudes, not say things that are empty
To accept that some small words of kindness can still be plenty

I want to speak on trauma. But I know I can't do so yet.
I have to listen first. So that when I do speak, I speak with no regret.

Never Settle

I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I may never settle
Live a life where I'm constantly shifting and testing my mettle
Always dancing avoiding blows, even absorbing one or two 
Acknowledging this weary life I have chosen live through
So get up, get up time to face another harsh ray of sun
Accept wrinkles that come from smiling at someone
It'll keep coming full waterfall, it'll wear me down
But it'll never wear my determined grin to frown
I may have a little less to give each day's grind
I am left with the growth it's given my mind
I'll never fade away, so long as I stand tall
Never settling is rising from every fall
It isn't comfortable, I'm sure I know
Always trying to adapt and grow
But it means you have no floor
You can overcome any flaw
Never stopping the path
This is infinity math
I think you'll be ok
Going your way
Just stay true
Stay you