Fake Happy

Sometimes it's a struggle to convince people I'm not fake happy
I'm just, y'know, happy

That's not to say I don't feel down sometimes or insecure
Not to say I don't have imposter syndrome a mile high
Just that when I take a step back and breath and appreciate things
I'm ok with being insecure

While I can (and have before) listed all the things in my life that could be better
I do miss several friends I wish I could live closer too and talk more with
And I'm not as good at this skill and I'm not as good at that skill
Not to mention I feel like I'm not where I'm supposed to be in my passions
Or that I sometimes feel like I'm struggling with work when others manage more easier
And, yeah, things could be better

But I've got to appreciate the good place I'm in right now
I am working on projects I enjoy with people who inspire me
I'm still on a journey in faith, but I'm enjoying the steps I'm taking
I'm getting to meet many new friends and know my family better too
So, when I think about the right now

Sure, there's nuances to the term, but I'm happy to say I'm not wearing a forced smile
It's genuine. Most of the time, at least 🙂

Wydale

Lord, things are going well, and I am truly blessed
Lord, thigs are kind of tough, and I am truly stressed
Lord, I must be grateful for the windfalls of life
Lord, I confess that I am struggling with strife

Should I just be thankful for what I have received?
Should I be upset when I feel like I'm deceived?

Life is balance, and I feel tipped to one side
Lord, I need your help. I need you on my side.

***

A poem I wrote on a weekend away with St Mikes. It was longer, but I think this bit alone captures the essence.

Rave

What music do we dance to tonight?
Why, we move to the boom of the end days
The apocalypse sparkles fiery bright
Join the building as it bows and sways 

Take the echoing drums of war
Let it resonate in our soul and bone
Rave like you never have before
Embrace these chthonic tones

There must always be light. There must always be joy.
We must find silver in the greyest cloud
So to every non-binary, girl or boy
We must be human, especially if not allowed

Our feet may tap on unstable ground
The unwelcome future shall advance
Let's take the discordant symphony we've found
And despite it all, we shall dance

***

Inspired by Skeller - Waste. Also just by me trying to process things in the world, as always,

Moments that matter

Life is made up of these moments that matter
Those moments when your world seems to teeter or fall
Those moments where your soul holds its breath while your brain tries to keep up
And time doesn't move at all

And then the clock ticks
Life moves a moment then a minute
The world is turning under your feet
Do you move with it?

Life is made up of moments and then life after those moments
Where you have to live in the moment's memory
Do you let it affect the way you interact and reflect?
Or not let yourself be overrun by an instant in time's sea

Just remember you have the ability to change any given day
Life is continuous, even if it's hard to picture it that way

A country

What is a country after all?
A border. And enclosed within.
There. A leader. Powerful. Tall.
In charge of virtue. And sin.

No. Are the people all the same?
Do they all sing the same song?
Are their bodies the same frame?
Are they a faceless, voiceless throng?

Within the borders of a nation see
not just caricature and stereotype
but an ever-changing history
with a new page written tonight

See the shopkeeper bawling from their lungs
the mother and brother hugging one another
maybe calling in different tongues
but more like us than like an "other"

Too easy, in the past, we forget this
we forget a country's cultural riches
because we have to. We can't remember any more.
Not if we are to fight their country's leader's war.