#31 The Clockwork Man

I don't know why, but sometimes, I'm scared of being replaced.

And I'm scared that replacement will be able to do everything I can

That if one day I was just suddenly erased

My replacement could just be the clockwork man

That my day to day becomes too predictable

That the way I walk and talk can be replicated

That each day is merely average and typical

With the life that fate has seen me designated

And I'm not sure why I'm scared of this

What is so bone chilling about routine

But it's simultaneously a cage, a chasm, an abyss

The easiest trap into which I could careen

It's the curse of comfort, the fate of the familiar

But something which a lot of people may not think too scary

Life is just what you've got, does it really make you shiver,

If you like your life enough you don't want it to vary?

I want to experience life, in all it's horror and majesty
I want to know my life was not just spent in the same old dive
To make mine the richest of tapestries
To always feel like I'm still alive

For me, I'm afraid, that's the way my views go

The monotony of repetition is my greatest fear

Because the clockwork man inside me is waiting in my shadow

But for now, if just now, he's not in control here.

#30 Moment of Clarity

I had one of those rarest moments today

It was clarity, like a single word in ink

A moment of great rareness and sparsity

A moment where I could actually think

The feeling was enlightening

A release from my usual entrapment

Yet also, oh so frightening

At the brevity of this enlightenment

I could do anything, if this feeling would only last

Understand any problem, solutions would surround me

My mind finally working, and seems to run fast

While clarity quickly lessens, then confounds me

I really want to focus, but these days it is so hard

There's so many updates to see and read

And to think takes such effort, to go the extra yard

We have everything that we want, but nothing that we need

It is time I actually did it, shut everything down

And listened to nothing, so that thoughts could be beckoned

And then, for just once, in this noisy old town

I could gain clarity, for more than just a second.

#29 Monsters

In this world of Monsters,
We're either charlatans or freaks
The charlatans, they try their hardest
To be seen as neither 'weird' nor 'unique'

The hide every imperfection
Every blemish that they perceive
Then sell their vision to us
And it's that vision we receive

That this world is not of monsters
You're clearly not trying hard
This world is one of perfect beings
Who are never spotty or scarred

Can't you see how happy we are?
And how perfect we appear?
You know you could be just like us
If you tried your whole life time plus just one year.

...

In this world of Monsters,
I count myself a happy freak
I'm not trying to hide myself
And I don't think that makes me weak.

I will never be the perfect being
They parade around before us
They're tried so hard to pour beliefs into me
I'm practically porous

I am blemishes and scars
Acne, pain and regret
And that ain't no bad thing
I'm proud of it you bet.

Sure I'm trying to improve
I'm not saying in life you can't progress
But there's nothing wrong in being yourself
Even if that self is a mess

You are beautiful, you are flawed
With your own personality
Embrace your weirdness and your oddities
Cause you're a Monster, just like me.

#28 Awkwardness

Ok, I'm about to speak about something
To which every reader can certainly relate
I'm talking about when you're talking
And plough straight on, and don't hesitate

Oops, see? You've done it now
You've said something awkward,
It's been said and you know exactly how
And you know you can't just leave it and move onward.

No.

From now, you will spend countless hours thinking about what you just said
It'll hold immense and uncertain power, swirling around inside your head
A thousand different scenarios will present themselves as an option
Things that would just flow over the conversation and soon be forgotten

What if? What if? Your mind will echo for a age
If only I could go back in time, rewrite that page
I could be known as a great wit and connoisseur
Instead now I'm just a local twit, a dumb-ass cur

You're going to beat yourself up for a while I can tell
So let me step in before your own mind becomes a hell
It's perfectly natural to worry about this - it's how social skills improve
But if your mind wants to find bliss, it's going to have to move

For you can say things that can brighten someone's day
That can help and encourage when someone's mood is grey
You don't realise it, but that's what people remember
I mean, you may not relight someone's fire, but you can provide an ember

You can build up and strengthen, that's your gift
What you just said was over quite swift
One time is one time, but what matters is the message you re-enforce
But that's up to what you want to do, of course.

I mean, some people like being awkward.

#27 When Science Proposes to Art

I was there on that most beautiful and fantastic of dates
A summation of two such painful and intertwined fates
Despite efforts to separate, the decided it was far easier to join
As two opposing sides realised they made the same coin

It was the ceremonial joining of Science and Art
An emotional time for the brain and the heart
Both simply trying to comprehend to world in which we dwell
Both had caused healing and harm, created heaven and hell

Yes there was bound to be turmoil, the honeymoon would be short
That there would be debates and arguments worthy of the highest of courts
But for the good times, man, they would rock the world in two
Lifting us higher than either one alone could do

The ceremony was certain to be a most curious affair
For the conjoining of such a conflicting pair
On a beach by the sea lit by stars in the sky
The sort of scene that embodies the very essence of the question 'why?'

The vows were something to help separate the couple
Art wished for turmoil, so as to find beauty in the struggle
To sometimes work apart, so they'd appreciate being together
To go forth sans map or chart, not knowing what storms they'd weather

Science, in their vow, wished for something quite different
For both to work together to avoid being ignorant
To never let ego and pride cloud the road ahead
But even more fascinating were the words left unsaid

For as these two embraced, kissed, and left over the sand
And strolled away, hand in newly ringéd hand
I realised why this was the most beautiful pairing I'd ever witness
For both Science and Art answer to themselves, and no other mistress

There is nothing that can limit the artist's imagination
Scientists' will hypothesise the impossible without hesitation
Together, brand new ideas and possibilities could be given birth
Together, they could truly push the limits of earth

Context: Aesop Rock's "Water" contains many beautiful lines, one of which is:
'When Science proposes to Art beside the peace-filled sea,
I'll be the cat with a ring on the pillow shouting "Finally!"',
which gave birth to this poem.