Caring openly

I want you to know I care for you 
But I'm scared of coming off too strong
I want them to you I care for you
But I don't want you to prove me wrong

Guard strong, my feelings!
Don't be swayed by passion this day
Guard strong, my feelings!
Don't let your traitorous heart betray

Society wont let you be open
Vulnerability is not a valued trait
Should I be closed forever then?
Or, for how long should I wait?

No, no, fuck all that toxicity
The feeling I can't act openly
I will talk compassionately
I will live with honesty

Hey. You are special to me.
And also to other people too.
We love you unconditionally.
Just for being you.

King of Darkness

There is beauty in the darkness
That lies along the world
There is a shimmer in the sadness
That will slowly be unfurled

And there are artists that can see
Who can capture it in frame
Who can snap the misery
Without losing their refrain

There is a real talent
In capturing the shadow
It might be heaven-sent
Or it might come from below

But it is not an easy trek
I have travelled once or twice
Just to see, just to check
If I can bare to pay that price

I can travel to the edge
Just to glimpse within
Being careful of the ledge
Making sure I don't fall in

Some people play pretend
It's dangerous over there
If it's the same words in the end
Then why would the listener care?

I want to be genuine
Show you who I am inside
I feel it would be a sin
To make art I feel has lied

And so I will embark
To write the words you will see
Some may end up dark
But I'll make sure it's really me

***

Inspired by how amazingly La Dispute captured darkness in their song "King Park". I wanted to write something on a similar level, but I realised it wouldn't have been genuine, so I wrote this instead.

the road already travelled

I'm chasing the high again
The high of repeating where I've already been
showing I'm good at going where I've already gone
in travelling a journey that I already know

and, well, it is fun
and it is satisfying
I've spent a lot of time learning these roads
and I know almost everything about them

so here's the thing
there is virtue in mastery
in learning that last final turn
in tiny optimisations

but, well, I think the time might have come
to learn a new way
and it will be a struggle
and I will be a beginner again

yet it is only by starting that new route that I will learn something truly new
it is only be stepping outside the town that I have built for myself that I will see another way the streets can be arranged
and I may not stay in that new place long, it may not be the right fit or be the wrong type of challenge
but, if done right, the city I knew will look a little different when I finally return

I will one day step back on that familiar road
but in a different way than I did before