Growth

Growth was never just a physical thing.

It was never just about who had the greatest height,
About who's head was so close to the sun it nearly set alight,
About who had the advantage in leapfrog games,
And who, because they were different, and taller, felt shame.

I could go on like this, but I'm not going to.

Because although growing that way isn't a bad thing to do,
Its not the main avenue I would chose to pursue.
And I'll tell you, as brief and quickly as possibly I can,
'Cause I know people as important as you don't want to have to listen to a lecture from this idealistic young man.

So here goes.

I want to apologise, when I've done something wrong,
To realise and recognise that I'm weak as well as strong,
To accept that I might not achieve every opportunity under the sky,
But to also accept that's no reason not to try.
To try to talk and understand other points of view, not just shout and curse,
To understand that there's none better than me, but also none worse,
To never let apathy get in the way of doing what I believe to be right,
And in my quest to help others, to never give up this fight.

But hey, that's just me. I'm probably wrong. And I swear, I'll try to admit it when I am.

Just please don't ask me to grow up.

I'm already trying my best.

***

I'm trying to archive all my pre-2013 poems (in 2025). I'm glad to still have this one, because it my first ever published poem! I hope I still have the booklet somewhere. Written in a lunchtime and my first ever submission (an acceptance rate which would *not* continue), it also led to me being involved with the Oxfam group for around a year or so.

Open Mic Night 2012

 Alright. Last time I was here, doing a poem on my own, you were gracious enough to listen to me perform a slightly self-centred piece about me joining Mansfield.

I wouldn't be so mean as to make you guys hear me talk about myself again.

Instead, here's a poem about someone else. Someone who deserves a poem way more than myself. And, I almost feel like this could be a payment in some way, although I'm fully aware that this in no way makes up the debt.

Anyway, I've rambled enough here, so I might as well start rambling in rhyme form. Here goes.

I wanna say thank you, and this is something of which I'm in no doubt.
 Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to the staff, and the scouts.
See, for all the work they do cooking our meals and cleaning up our mess each day
I just feel not enough thanks goes their way.
And I think everyone here would agree
That that single fact is an utmost tragedy.
So I'm gonna say thank you, right now and right here
In front of you all, being most sincere

That I really am grateful, and I may not say it as often as is deserved
For cleaning up our college, making sure its kept preserved,
For providing some of the very best food in this university,
And for, even when we don't deserve it, always showing courtesy
For, whenever I have to get up at what I would deem an ungodly hour
Already being there cleaning, making my bitterness for the earliness sour
For making this place such a great place to live
Which it wouldn't be, without all the help you have to give

And I'm sorry, that I don't show as much appreciation as I should
And in front of you all, I really would,
Like to apologise, for if I run past without a single acknowledgement
Or, an apology from a whole college sent
I don't clean up as often as I should, and sometimes just leave stuff to clean
And, when I'm feeling down from the work I've received when tutors have been mean
To, regardless of how many hours I've spent over the same piece of paper, still say thank you, and smile
So, I'm pledging to make an effort, if just for a while

To make your difficult job that bit easier, and clean up a little bit
To not put my bin outside everyday with only a single wrapper in it
To put clothes away, before you need to clean my floor
To realise how much better my room looked than before

To never ignore you, but instead be grateful of all that you do.
And most of all, not forget, ever, to say thank you.

***

I'm going through and archiving all me pre-2013 poems (in 2025). This was the second ever open mic night I did at my college - the preamble is a reference to "5th week blues". I do vaguely remember performing this. Having "scouts" - cleaners who would come to your room and empty your bins once a week and hoover - felt very alien to me. Due to doing engineering and having very early lectures, I don't think I often was in when scout arrived anyway - others were often caught out while sleeping, which I think made them a little less charitable.

Bar Poem

I'm a travelling adventurer, a journeyman of kind
And I'd like to tell you about a place I visited, if y'all wouldn't mind
I could tell you tales from every corner of the land
But looking, I can tell you people aren't ones for stories of rivers and sand
No. I think more to your taste... Yes, definitely,... In all my travels, the best bar I've ever seen!
A place grand and cosy, yet always clean.
Always an armchair to sink into at the end of a long day
Off the beaten track, yet not too far out the way
Yet I'm missing a major point. It has the best drink you'll ever face
Where the alcohol is so amazing, its even to my delicate taste
The beer, you'll revere
The ale, you'll hail,
The wine, is fine
And if you don't get there quick, its mine
Not that theres any race.
Its a sedate pub, with many an old face
Theres no loud mouth drunks. No fights outside
Its a place all the inhabitants drink with pride.
In fact, let me tell you some advice heyo gave me
And this is all advice that was given most sagely
I went up to the guy at the bar, his head in a drink
It looked like, if he stooped much lower, he'd start to sink
So with all, politeness, I enquired his name
"I have none" he growled "Oh, what a shame
But do you not have a label, used by those who know you best"
"I had one" he replied "I now use it only in jest
So let me give you advice, my brand new acquaintance
You can't escape the past, no matter how much you give your memory maintenance
Better to embrace your mistakes, forgive wherever you can
Before its too late, and you become a shell of a man"
Now this was a tad depressing, but I accepted its truth
So I thanked him and searched for others under this roof
For one with a bit more humour in his tone
And I saw a guy smiling to himself, though he was alone
So I went and asked "Whats the reason for cheer"
And he looked me straight in the eye and said "Just being here
Just being and alive in a healthy state
And the friends whom I've been blessed to know by fate
To know I've got people who'll look out for me, if I'm feeling down
Man, thats enough to make me never want to frown

I'm trying to make sure I've archived my pre-2013 poems. This was uploaded in 2025. I'm not fully sure it's complete, but here it is anyway :)