Don't you dare

It is not an unheard sadness, for friends to die.
To selfishly leave us stranded down this gravity well
While themselves going on to pursue the next great adventure(tm).

It is uncertain to what extent the departed are aware of the world
What consciousness they retain in their corporal remains
With this certain knowledge of death's uncertainty, here is a claim I can venture:

Funerals aren't held for the dead.
After all,
No corpse has ever said thank you
No cadaver has ever given a final bow
No earthly remains have ever commented wistfully on the excellent selection of words in the final dedication to their lives.

No...

Funerals?
They're for the living.

A chance for those left behind to gather up feelings
Get thought emotion empathy all mashed together
Share with others a show of simple humanity
And honour the one who has left them.

To dress up and look the part of the mourner
To drown in seas of black and tears
To attempt to cement memories of ashes and dust
As though, by wearing the right clothes
By saying the right things
By singing the right songs
And by sharing together in this experience
All can collectively agree the soul is now fully lain to rest.

For the individual:
This is done by acting up your very best
To show, more than anything, that you care
That you would never do anything to disrespect memory
And so we speak in sadness while we dress lovingly in pure darkness

.
.
.

When I die, don't you dare wear black
Don't.
You.
Dare.

While I understand the funeral is for you, and not me,
I must still *insist* on this one thing.

You may play songs I have never listened to
Read from books I have never read
Even bring friends I have never met
For all these I would be open to in life.

But
To dress in a way I actively avoid
To reduce the colour in this world
To indulge in those very clothes
For which sadness smartness and repression are habitual.

No. You don't get that this time.
You don't get the easy way to show you care.
It would not show my memory respect
And I don't think it would feel genuine for anyone there.

When I die, please, please wear rainbows
Drape yourselves in shades and styles of colours and light
For I assure you, it is at this time, more than others
You will feel me trying my best to be there.

I will go, knowing that, just once with certainty
I will have brought a little colour to peoples' lives.

So don't you dare wear black.