Post Tournament Blues

IMPORTANT: THIS IS A PSA

IF YOU'VE RECENTLY FOUND YOURSELF DOWN ON A MONDAY

LESS ENTHUSIASTIC THAN MANY OF YOUR BUSINESS COLLEAGUES

UNABLE TO FOCUS ON ANY CIRCULAR OBJECT WITHOUT WANTING TO THROW IT

TRYING MOTIVATION CHANTS BEFORE IMPORTANT MEETINGS
SPIKING ANY REPORTS DONE ON TIME TO AN ACCEPTABLE STANDARD

OR EVEN JUST RELISHING CRAMP FOR THE MEMORIES IT CONTAINS

THEN YOU,

ARE SUFFERING,

FROM,

POST TOURNAMENT BLUES...

The post tournament blues are the downfall of us all

Where most incidents renew your recall of a call

Since recent emotions have been so intense and too high

Your mind's location is green pitches and blue sky.

The speech replay of the captain trying to inspire you at half

The point of day where you were in pain 'til a team mate made you laugh

Your saviour, near enough flying in a bid to make up for your mistake

You savour this stuff near crying until you have to fake you're awake.

Snap back to reality, and ain't it cold?

You lack normality, though it should've taken hold

See, the moments where you are most real and alive

Paid atonement now in the struggle to feel and strive.

You miss your team. You miss your friends.

You want to scream and make it end

It's the price we pay, for bonds so tight

My advice today, to make it right.

Is to enjoy the tournament most, while you are there

To not annoy or taunt the host, to show you care

To play with spirit and heart, try not to be fake

Today give it your part, for all of our sake.

It may not make it any better the day after

Trying to fake along with the office laughter

Just know if you make your tournament and invest all you can do

Your team is doing what they do best, and sharing that feeling with you.

And with your team behind you, you can do damn near anything.

GB U23 Mixed at worlds.

Dedicated to the loser

History is written by the winners, as you know. By the victors, the ones who come in first.
Usually, rightly so. They fight and battle so when it matters they don't end up as worst.

With great respect we honour their names. Learn our lessons from their paths
They're showered in riches, respect and fame. We study their skills and mimic their craft.

Winners are two a penny, as far a history is concerned. You can find them ending each story.
This poem is dedicated to those who're spurned. Whose fate is somewhat more gory.

This is an ode to the loser. A tale of the downtrodden. A requiem for the ever unrealised.
It was felt they are owed a chance to explain and broaden the perception of those never idealized.

You see, there is beauty in the struggle
Drawn from a duty to not crumble
There is much to be learnt from the fight
Even if victory is not earnt that night

To the resilient soldier in dulled armor
The brilliant lover in cold amour
The persistent in the face of defeat
The ever-resistant but finally beat

For the strength to be defeated, but still keep going
Make the conflict be repeated, scars still showing
To rise from the ashes to still get burnt
To live through the crashes, with knowledge earnt

We should remember that life is not just made of victories
You can learn from those who lost well
That throughout all of history
The man who came in second still has a tale to tell

Image from http://www.worth1000.com/contests/22408/22408-silhouettes

Before I Forget

I am not a smart man. I was never even a smart boy.
What I am, is curious. Curiosity leads to preoccupations.
Which leads to you forgetting whether or not you've eaten lunch.
Alternatively, it also leads to finding out some rather cool things.

The issue I have is, there are so many things to be curious about.
The world has so many wonders, lots of which are distressingly difficult to discover.
As such, as soon as one discovery is made, it must be abandoned.
If only to embark on the next great adventure.

This means I forget a lot of things.
That discoveries are lost. Even if only to be rediscovered later.
That what was once known, is no longer.
That one must never become certain, if a person is to keep changing and evolving

So, before I forget:
I need to remember that I am a different person today
Than I was yesterday, the day before, and all days prior.
And, going on from that, to who I will be tomorrow.

Before I forget, I need to remember that though I have moved away from dear friends
I have always gained fantastic new ones.
There are now so many people and faces I have known.
The chance to reacquaint myself should never be ignored, lest it never reappear.

Before I forget, I need to remember all the people who have helped me
Even if it were to no benefit to themselves.
That the kindness of others works best if passed on.
That sometimes you don't see the rewards of your efforts, and that's ok.

Before I forget, I need to remember that I know no mind but my own
And even of my own mind I'm not completely certain
That others are fighting battles of which I have no idea of the battlefield or the dreadful enemy
But that refuge in such battles is always appreciated.

Before I forget, I need to remember that I began a beginner.
Before I forget, I need to remember that the past had it's flaws, and so will the future
Before I forget, I need to remember why I learnt whatever it was in the first place
Before I forget, I need to remember that how ever much I experience, I can never capture life perfectly inside me.

But mostly, before I forget
I need to remember what made me who I am in the first place
I need to remember, always, to stay curious

Our last message

The aliens came to destroy us, which was only fair
We'd been instituting polluting without a care
We'd been renegades of morality, aka the human race
The rest of destiny would not be ours to face

However, before we were vapourised to just a residue
The aliens were of a kind mind to give us our due
They gave us an offer which we couldn't refuse
The single message of our legacy was soon world wide news

Who would deliver it, and what would it say?
We'd quarrel and war for all of the day
"Us" said the white men "we've been the rulers"
"We're the cleverest, the cunningest, sit back as we school ya"

"Nah" said the mothers "We won't take that anymore"
"They should hark at the matirach not your tale of gore"
Said the blind "We've seen humanity for how they truely are"
The artists "It's our duty to tell of our beauty and bizarre"

The refugees told of our notions of what is was to be free
The disabled enabled visions of our heirarchy
The old told of what we'd done to deserve our fate
The honest would admonish us for our holding of hate

The evangelist spiel was to tell of our sin
The atheist's tone was his own, but said the same thing
Voices rose, and we came to roar and yell
The aliens watched as earth turned to hell

Their job done for them, they turned to leave
Humanity instigation of its own decimation was beyond reprieve
They felt a tug on their robe, just before they left us to our gory glory
As a young child smiled, and simply said "sorry"

Once more

Once more

Once more, my friends, is all it takes
Muster energy once more for all our sakes
Once more is all it needs to be
Until we shall be once more free

Once more, those old words of inspiration
Just once more with effort and perspiration
Once more and all will be over and all will be done
We shall once more be free to be someone

Once more, I promise, I swear it's true
Marshall energy now and you'll soon be once more through
Once more, the end is now nearly in sight
Try once more now and be done by night

Once more, once more, that fickle phrase
You've gone through many ill-fated days
And all I ask, this final score
Is for you to take this journey, just once more

I said once more my friends, because in truth I'm weak
All our journeys are necessarily unique
What's once more for me is no more for you
But trouble is still better once it's through

So when I say once more, I say it kind
For I will say I do not know your mind
I do not know what once more would take for you
Just that the fact that it's just once more is true.

Cloudscape

The greatest of all sins is pride. And so I must confess
That, deep down inside, I felt great duress
That I found the scene before me impossible to explain
To not be able to say what I had seen caused me great pain

Alright, let me clear my mind and at the very least try
To explain what you see when you go above the sky
The setting is made, I'l give you my angle
The beauty displayed out of your transparent rectangle

Ignoring the wing in the corner of your eye
An ugly orange thing emblazoned with corporate vox populi
You see the wondrous sight of the clouds from above
As your heart is set alive with longing and love

You want to break outside, to try and escape
So you can live forever inside the cloudscape
You're to be enclosed in this rectangle another hour
The discontent sowed as your mood starts to sour

I want to sell this time later to a great artist of the past
Take a bard, poet or painter of a high enough class
Who can properly portray the majesty of this moment
As my skills have betrayed my description of this incident

I haven't yet begun to describe the cloud horizon
Nor mentioned the sun anew bright as my view wizened
My heart is down, as I realise I haven't described it at all
Just take solace my eyes witnessed something so beautiful

Running

Run, run, run, run
The time to move has just begun
Though to some it may not seem fun
You'll change your thoughts when I am done


Ok, let me paint a picture for you
You are young, energetic, and lively too
You love the grass as it flies past your running shoe
Each rushed breath you breath is life anew

Then suddenly, from out of the grass
A branch sticks out, makes you fall on glass
That step you took would be your last
For a good long while, without a cast


Suddenly, life moves a lot slower now
There's advantages, that fact you'll allow
But that fact will never make up somehow
You see all your friends running, all "faster than thou"

You long for the feel of wind in the hair
All you can do, is train and prepare
Go through physio and hell, as others just stare
Wondering what could push someone to so powerfully care


Day turn to weeks turn to months turn to a year
Your inner thoughts turn to your greatest fear
All you want to do is not be stuck here
You want to run so bad as you fight back a tear

The day you're allowed to jog blows your mind
The first steps beyond a walk in a long long time
But you dare not go faster, commit that crime
Indulge in the speed you so want to find


It's here, finally, the day of speed
Its certainly been waiting a long time indeed
The day finally, when you fulfill your need
Gets set, get ready, and now I've planted the seed

I hope you can see now what I have done
Go out, enjoy it. I promise you'll have fun
Have I inspired you at all since I first begun?
Do you finally see, what a beautiful thing it is to run?

You lucky thing.

Magic

He was the magician, his tricks you'd never realise
You could get an optician to double check your eyes
You could see a psychiatrist to examine your brain
Who'd heartily insist you were indeed quite sane

A philosopher you'd see, and debate the nature of man's being
A scientist in biology would confirm the magician a human being
A gymnastic trainer to confirm the impossibility of such a reflex
A filmographer to let you rewatch visually yet still stay vexed

You see it seemed impossible, what that man could do
You were there for at all, you witnessed the show through
It's been haunting your thoughts, all other ideas tried on the shelf
You went and caught him, to ask the man himself

"Dear magician, entertainer, I must make a request
I could never refrain from calling you the best
Your tricks have troubled my thoughts, and I can't break free
As such I have sought to ask to reveal your secrets to me"

He replied

"Dear entertained, I'm so very glad you enjoyed the show
But for what you have asked I'm sad I can't let you know
Though it may surprise you, in fact I would prefer to be in your position too
Imagine being the only person in the room for whom the magic doesn't hold true?"

Democractinsect

It's one of the few times in its insanity, humanity hasn't lied
When it acknowledged as homage our greatest sin is pride
We like to pretend our philosophy is unique, it's hypocrisy
That our culture has the only properly practiced clique of democracy

This hypothesis is preposterous, but it's argued in absentia
From our monstrous cluelessness of kingdom animalia insecta
You heard me right, the insects of this earth elect the ruler of their state
Let me not just infer or be impolite, let us go instead straight to the debates

You'll see the idea and their demeanor, none of us will know the victor
Each bug claiming  they are meaner and stricter
The reBuglic stands strong, the empire looms past the horizon
A democracy far greater than any you've yet laid eyes on

Up to give their first spiel, it's their incumbent overlord
You may feel he's worst, vitriol inherent like swords
But he's grown soft in the underbelly, a ready reason for uprising
He was one once feared as Machiavelli, now treason wouldn't be surprising

Next in line to argue for lord insect elect
Is a dungbeetle intellect out to infect
The masses of lads, neuter, and lasses with their talk of a dystopian ideal
But sadly he's badly and madly arguing a position too intellectual

A long nosed weevil sniffs around then takes the stand
Claiming to be the ultimate evil she unleeshes the zeitgeist canned
Appeals straight to the hearts by claiming bacteria welfare
She's got rhetoric as an art, delighting in the fear and the scare

Right next to me you can see the bumblebee, causing a buzz
No chance to flee as she would sting with glee through his fuzz
Causing a stir trying to get the masses to collect as a colony
You can hear her avoiding calls of socialist sticking to her policy

Demanding reform an armed alliance as urgency
Is the cockroach claiming they could live with spiders in harmony
That together they could take this land by surprise
A very curious call to be Lord of the Flies

The mosquitos and moths, the butter and dance flies
Each have their representative, watched by stalked eyes
It's not a responsibility to take lightly, the leader of this space
Just think twice when you claim democracy as sole domain of the human race

Labels

Y'know. For a population so diverse, so varied, so fantastic. We use a lot of labels.

Wherever we go, with whomever we converse, we like to keep our reality stable.

We make matches, avoid mixes, we categorise people's personalities with care

And it catches, because the trick is, it simplifies humanity so we can socially prepare

This world is confusing so we strive to be the first to make sense of it all

It's mostly amusing, to be alive is to thirst to try to enthrall

To capture imaginations and a heart's fraction of anyone we happen to meet

Without hesitation engage in the art of interaction when we greet

We want to be outstanding to be more than just a member of the crowd

We're demanding that we be dismembered from another vox populi, if we're allowed

We want to be special. To be unique. To be essentially ourselves.

Yet we make all the others seem freaks if into individuality they delve

The first trick into letting others see you not just as another stereotype

Is to slip into the habit of never just painting pictures of people with the same stripes

Create a picture of the world which is fantastic in the range of colour and shade

The structure that'll unfold will spring elastic into new shapes, and leave you permanently amazed. 

If today

If today is not the day we die, then let it be a day worth living

Let this world not pass us by, for time is unforgiving

There's action we can take, paths we have to choose

Friends that we can make, a day we should not lose

If today is not the day we die, let it be one we remember

Let July not pass us by, so we can't recall it in December

We all have dreams, we all have goals. It is not wrong to strive.
Complete your longing, and be whole. Let us feel alive. 

If today is not the day we die, let it be like no other

For when this day will pass us by, there is likely just another

The future is not known of any, nor what destiny has in store

Just remember that last beg of many, who ask for one day more.

If today is not the day we die, then let it not be a day we take by half
Let it be a day we smile, let it be a day we cry, let it be a day we laugh
You've only got a lifetime, and yet so much to give
Because I feel today will not be the day we die...
               So let it be a day we live

Why I'm Voting

I would like you all to realise how fantastic democracy is
And yes, I know it's flawed. I know there are many different democratic systems.
I know there are those whose voices I do not want governing me
I know there are those who do not want my voice governing them.

But voting. Ah, voting. It's the great equaliser.
No matter how much money gets spent, in the end, you get the choice
You. No matter who you are. You matter.
You matter enough that you get a say in this country.

When you see human rights violations
When you want road works completed quicker
When you get angry at the news you read
When you disagree with your neighbour

You have a direct say in how the country is run.
It may not count for much. There's lots of voices after all.
You don't mean more than them. They don't mean more than you.
For those that care. voting is the minimum you can do.

It's far from the only thing. But it's certainly one of the greatest steps.

Tanning?

Don't get me wrong. I'm amazed at the Sun. I really am.

I don't really understand the physics. Or the chemistry.

I just know it as a big ball of fire in the sky above me.

I know it's been here from long before I was born.

And will probably be here long after I die.

It provides plants with energy, to produce the oxygen we breath

It lights up our life so we can see our lover's faces

It is hidden by a rotating Earth to give us chance to rest

Now, we have harnessed the Sun to start to power our homes

It is vital to all life on this Earth.

Now, I understand all this, I really do.

But when a ray of light, emitted by this ball of fire

Travels eight minutes through the vacuum of space

Past space dust and planets, penetrating our atmosphere

Reaching the insignificant surface of this blue rock, against all odds

And finds, out of seven billion people, me.

Forgive me if I forget the wonders and curse at the Sun a short while.

As someone who burns a little easily.

Disclaimer: Written from the perspective of someone who burns easily. As someone who tans more than roasts, I have to admit I quite like the Sun this time of year...

To be English

It's St. George's day, and the banners of patriotism fly
Those claiming to know where the loyalties of the country lie
Claim persecution, because their love of country is too strong
And through all this, I have to wonder where I belong.

You see, the flag is rarely flown from a moderate door
But shared on facebook, by those wanting to give immigrants a war.
To claim you "love your country" is to gain a label
The "patriotic liberal" is known as an oxymoronic fable



So here's the thing. I do love my country. I really am proud.
And yes, I really do acknowledge its flaws, but I should still be allowed
To love the NHS. The money and citizens we send for aid.
The fact we protect workers by giving a minimum they can be paid

The communities we still have, even if they're diminishing
The courage and resilience we show goes way beyond idle wishing
The education we provide - others travel many miles to learn here
The fact the death penalty hasn't been seen in Britain for 51 years

Our sporting, intellectual and creative prowess should not be taken lightly
We're kind to others, we're known for taking matter politely
And while the nuances of the matter are far too great to explain in verse
I'd honestly like to think we've made this world better, not worse.


If we don't show pride for our country, we let others dictate its character
If we don't acknowledge advances as well as issues, we'll never make it better
St. George may be an odd choice for our patron. But I'd still like to say
Even if it's not cool among my class. I'm proud to be English today.

The re-tale

Stop if you've heard this one a few times before
The re-tale of those who clean and mop the floor
The deja vu of the cashier's day
Just sit back and press "replay"

I said stop me, if you've already seen this scene
Analysed all the wall you're appalled this is mean
There's not one task to do you haven't done prior
Your brain goes insane as you know this world entire

Don't pretend you don't know of this world gone stale
The all-too well known re-tale of retail
You've done it so many times. Repeated every task
I said to stop me. Was that too much to ask?

Taken from mellophant.com

The Coffee Shop

They're working, working. On computers and paper
But I'm working too, serving caffeine to their flavour
I see all types, observe every Mrs and Mister
So listen to the tales of the coffee shop barista.

They're working, working, scribbling away.
Some have been here since the start of the day
Let me take you through the types, the workers' who's who
Because it seems everyone these days has a lot of work to do

Sitting by the door, talks to everyone as they pass
Is the not-really-worker, the snake in the grass
The distraction, the trap, the folly of the fool
While blank pages litter their table and stool

In the corner by the window, watching the world go by
Is the worker-dreamer, who let's their imagination fly
They'll compose a thousand stories of the world outside
Before trapping a single story into words inside

Right by the counter, next to the coffee bean sack
Needing regular coffee, and needing it black
Always up at the counter, and shaking slightly
We have the worker-addict, to name them politely

The imposter in the shop, of which we have a fair few
Comes in looking haggled and tuts at the queue
Spends fifteen minutes setting up, but never stays for long
In coffee shop worlds, worker-drones just don't feel they belong

Working in the middle, taking centre stage
Is a person who has written many a page
My favourite worker, for they've survived such a trial
The introvert in the room, for whom I always save a smile

The hardest worker of all. Head always down and low
Lest they have to talk to someone for more than a hello
Social anxiety can make this a personal hell
Yet it's the same thing that makes them work so well

Every worker in the room has a type and style
Some here briefly, some here for a while
So if you ever come to my shop to work, I can guarantee
You won't be alone, it's a worker community.

Time

You wasted three seconds reading this line

Another two on this one.

We need to be careful with how we spend out time

Whether on learning or fun.

Our purse of time is not predetermined

Yet it will have a limit

When you're young, as far as your concerned

Most spending is within your remit

You can't live each day preparing for sundown

You'll survive the night anyhow

Yet as you spend more time to become more renown

You'll gain more regrets than you should allow

If I'd spent my time differently, I'd have been

So different to how I am

Why yes, that's true, but what does it mean?

What's more, should you give a damn?

After all, you've likely still plenty left in your banks

Don't worry about fortunes lost

Enjoy what you spend, be happy and give thanks

Realise that some things are worth the cost

Outside the elements

Pitter patter pitter patter goes the rain on the window
Howl and whistle, can you hear the wind blow?
Thud and splat as the rain raises it's attack
Now there's a solid connection as the hail makes contact

And here you are, just hidden away
Protected and secure, no need to pray
There's no hell to endure when you're under a roof
You can shelter ensured of protection, that's truth

You can find it peaceful, the chaos outside
It's almost sinful, like a sin of pride
That some are feeling pain, and getting wet through
It's almost insane, the duality you go through

You feel safe in pure safety, it seems odd then
That you can relax to danger, but only when
It's close by, but still kept at bay where you can see
Yet another reason why I find humanity a curiosity

Photo by TheJustandtheUnjust.tumblr.com

Listening

Practical exercise time.

You've probably done it before courtesy of a tired teacher

Now courtesy of this rhyme

I want to re-execute this exercise in enlightment like a preacher

Are you ready? Do you trust me like science?

I'm going to follow it with you and write right after that

I need you to turn off all noise, engage in silence

Be aware of all that surrounds where you sit.

...

The constant whirr of my computer is not new. I'm aware of this companion

What else is there I don't always acknowledge?

A car on a distant road. It's man-made engine purrs as the wheels spin in tandem

Then something new is added to my knowledge

It's all artificial. Were I to try this again

Outside my home in a field in nature

I would hear insects enough to drive me insane

Or rivers and wind, I would happily venture

Humanity has made amazing things. But we must be aware

What progress has done is certainly profound.

We have silenced nature. Created our own fanfare.

I'm curious as to what you found?

The Greatest

I'm sure you've heard the big names before
The classics, the greats, the best for ever more
The ones who stand out from an ever growing crowd
The ones who you'd love to know and make proud

Well put all those aside, whatever your doing
Whatever goal it is in life you're pursuing
I assure you, there's no point from this moment on
You've been surpassed, there's no stopping the momentum

They'll do it with skill, they'll do it with flare
They'll do it through passion, hard work and care
They'll do it effortlessly, without even trying
They'll be so good it'll leave you crying

And no, they aren't just another flash in the pan
You're sure to always remember this man/woman
Whatever he/she will do would just be a fad
They wont just be good once and then be bad

No I assure you this is a name you'll remember for eternity
The best in history, of all humanity
Welcome to the greatest name you'll ever hear
The eternal name of <insert name here>

Taken from http://www.jeffbullas.com/

To Terry

It's not often that the death of someone you've never met affects you so personally. This. This is one of those times.

My first steps on the Discworld were shaky
I wasn't sure if I'd take a firm footing
I was young, so young, when first I ran with Rincewind
It was the first time I remember enjoying meeting Death

Slowly my footing on this odd world became more solid,
The skies became tangible as I met its characters on its ground
I slunk in dark greys as I observed the dragons and nightwatchmen.
I saw people grow from children to adults. I saw monks ensure it happened

When you've spent so much time in someone's imagination
Literally lived there, slept there, though maybe avoided drinking its water
It can be difficult to leave. Remind yourself it isn't yours.
Just remind yourself that the wonderful person who made it was kind enough to share it with you

So, to Sir Terry Pratchett, one of the custodians of my childhood
Now that I see Death again, and he appears not so kind, I just want to say thank you.
Thank you. So much. For sharing your imagination.
Thank you for the people I met, and the places I went, under your care.
Thank you, you brilliant, brilliant man.

"No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away...” 
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

The Grower vs The Fixed Learner

He was a fixed learner
Never was a yearner
Always put his dreams
on the backburner

She had a growth mindset
Would start to get upset
If the last thing she'd done
Wasn't the best she'd done yet

He thought talent was fixed quantity -
A self-fulfilling prophecy
As, when faced with a challenge,
Retreat was his philosophy

She saw her talent just as potential
That fact was evidential
Because when she faced opposition
A battle was consequential

When he saw success
He found it nothing less
Than threatening and worrying
While she was inspired and impressed

She so desired to learn, he so desired to look intelligent
So he cheated and schemed, she'd say that attitude was decadent
They started off the same, maybe him slightly ahead
The ending to both their stories I'll let you invent

Any guesses?

This poem was inspired by the following article, about the different attitudes people have to intelligence - http://alpine.usskiteam.com/sites/default/files/documents/athletics/freestyle/2013-14/documents/Mindsets_USOCCoach_Winter_2009_Dweck.pdf

Picture taken from the above article. Graphic by Nigel Holmes.

Had I been a girl

Had I been a girl, I wonder how my life would be
All I know is my name - I'd have been known as Hermione
My birth would've brought gender balance to my family
So my parents would have 2 boys, and 2 girls
I wonder then what I would be in this world

I know, at least, my parents would have been kind
If, as a girl, I had showed a scientific mind
But from society what prejudice would I find?
Maybe I'd have studied humanities, delved deep into art
Maybe I'd have gone less with my brain and more with my heart

Would I have been bullied less? Or even more?
Would I still like everyone and be an optimist at core?
Would choosing how to appear each day actually become a chore?
I might have had mood swings, maybe gone to a riot
Given the percentages I'd likely have weight issues and be on a fad diet

Would I be as inclined to sport? There'd be less opportunity
I was very energetic, maybe I'd have channelled that creatively
Certainly I'd have been the only girl in my school playing frisbee
Since I likely couldn't rely as much on height and speed I know
Maybe I'd have been a different player, actually learnt to throw?

How would I perceive the world? How would it perceive me?
Would I have prejudice, be aware of privilege I currently don't see?
Had I been a girl, would my life have turned out differently?
Or would I be much the same? Its hard for me to know
Exactly how my gender has shaped the places I can go.

Question Mark by Bushlemon

The Slow Route

I took the slow route today
It's odd, but I think I liked it.

It turns out, the place that I live is remarkably beautiful.
The sun can indeed shimmer, if you look at it right.
If neither of you are going too quickly, you can exchange a good morning with strangers.
Close up, scenery isn't actually blurred.

The space between worlds is a destination itself
The journey is not intrinsically interwoven with the destination
Time, is not merely a deadline
Time is what we are given to experience the world.

The path I walked was beaten, but not previously be me
It had a stone wall one one side, sometimes. People tending allotments on the other
The streams flowed. Picking up some sediment, but also leaving it to rest.
Baby birds really are absolutely tiny.

The cliché of life going too fast is well known.
But life doesn't go fast. We do.
When we don't, we often don't move at all.
Needing to rest from going fast the whole time.

Slow. Slow is a new one to me.
Not quite rest. But far from fast.
I won't take it again for a while. Tomorrow is down as a fast day.
But the trail is not as unfamiliar now as it was.

Taken from http://hs2theslowway.blogspot.co.uk/

Yesterday, I took my bike in for repairs. Meaning I had an hour long walk to lectures. Given the choice of the conventional road route and the route across parks/over streams, I decided to gamble on the latter, hoping I could find my way. In addition, on of my favourite artists released an ambient ep, you can check here - http://levipatel.bandcamp.com/album/of-sleep-and-time - meaning that, today, I'm no where near as rushed as I should be.

Confessions of a Fake Extrovert

I'm the happy man, the new guy to meet

Always a grin, and cheerful to greet

Maybe not the life of the party, but certainly life in the room

Someone who seems to not feel gloom

There's no question I get joy from interaction

I do enjoy when I'm doing things and taking action

At parties you'll see me chatting to all

Confidence among strangers was never my downfall

I've never had an issue talking to new faces

I love to meet those who Life gave different races

I really do enjoy chatting and conversation

So please don't let this next fact cause you hesitation

While I do enjoy meeting others and hearing their view

I struggle to get up, I find life difficult to persue

The effort initial, I find harder than you'd be imagining

It's often why I'm late to many a gathering

The conversation itself also causes me to tire

Perhaps you may not guess when I have to retire

While still awake and aware, my mind still thinking

Just unable to join in with partying and drinking

I'll be clear - I do enjoy your company, I like you indeed

Though public life is hard I do not want to receed

But it's so much effort, I can clearly attest

So please forgive me, if I have to excuse myself for a rest.

Take my hand

Take my hand, there's a world to explore
All you need to do is leave your front door
It's the hardest step, but it's the most worthwhile
Please leave your doubts and ignore your denial

Take my hand, we can go anywhere you wish
Walk lands with mammals, swim oceans with fish
Please realize, right now, you could travel this earth
Thank how little you've seen so far since birth

This world is so big and broad and varied and vast
Expand your mind from the mould in which it is cast
There's places on earth to visit that you haven't been yet
If you just take my hand and make the first step

Meet many characters with which to converse
Make many lives in which you contribute a verse
Just know that though life gets better and life gets worse
That's true if you stay still or explore the universe

Let's see the moon from many an angle
Let's get into scrapes, though escape we will wrangle
Let's try new food, walk on new road
Repay your soul the debt of adventure it's owed

If you don't start now, you may never at all
I'll always be here, you just need to call
Feel wind in your hair and your feet on sand
We'll explore the world, just take my hand

Taken from Murad Osman's instagram - http://instagram.com/muradosmann/ from his #followmeto photo series

The Host

I imagine on this night, Life manifest as a reality show.
With the Host cloathéd in white from his head to his toe
His grin, it sparkles. His voice is veneer.
The lights go dark, his will becomes clear.

For now at least, he's running the game
He'll unleash your beast, he'll make you feel shame
He's got questions and challenges to test every master
Your heart starts to race as the beat it gets faster

"So, are you ready? Let's test what you know.
 You'd better be steady because it's 3-2-1-Go!
 You think you're an adult, I know this about you
 But that thought feels at fault, so let's see what you do"

I know I can't resist, I have no defense
But I get his gist, I put on a pretense
"Sure I'm ready host, I'll show you no fear"
 He knows this to be boast, he sees through me clear

"Host, bring it on, I can adult with the best
 Just ask almost anyone and bring on your test"
He grins ear to ear, raises his hands to the skies
And I know that right here, my pretense of adulthood dies

Snow. Snow falls from the sky in flakes
I know that I'll soon be revealed as a fake
I try to pretend it makes me sick, muster up a pretense
Start complaining about traffic, how cold it'll be hence

...I can't pretend for long. A smile beams on my face
I burst into song as my heart starts to race
I may be nearly an adult, but I'm still a child at core
The Host fades into his grin, triumphant once more

Humanity - the great killer

Humans have always had the potential to impact the earth
Either to celebrate and elevate it, or damage it beyond repair
For some reason they seem to like to chose the latter

They've caused great wars due to disagreement
Radiation makes some islands untouchable
Punched a hole right in the atmosphere
And wiped countless species from the planet

So many species.
So many cries and sounds never to be known
Hunted for sport, food, curiosity, or because they didn't know better

Given how many species they made leave this world
It seems curious it took us so long when they were tying to
One species, whose eradication took so long
Caused celebration amongst the humans that hadn't been seen before

Was this just their bloodlust showing through? (again)
Not quite. In 1980, WHO declared smallpox eradicated.
They had destroyed a whole disease.

And now. It looks like they may be close again.
Loosing part of the Earth is not often something to celebrate
But this time, I'm going to join in with those humans
Cheering the use of destructive powers for good, once more.


http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/were-close-achieving-second-ever-global-eradication-human-disease#

My purpose

So, very recently, I think I might have realised a purpose.

Don't worry, it's ridiculous beyond measure.
Soon I'll realise that and join the rest of humanity without one
After all, the search is almost certainly the bit with most interest and pleasure.

But, it hasn't escaped my notice that I've been lucky.

That certain decisions have gone my way
That life has thrown me pre-made lemonade
A folding table to sell it on, nice weather to sell it in (at least, on a typical day).

So, I'm getting suspicious

I've done nothing to deserve this
I've been kind to others where I can, but I'm certain
There are other, kinder souls whom life never deals nice hands, fate never blows a kiss

Why then. What is the cause of this?

I think I might know. See, I've never given into vice. And I ponder.
I don't know how I'd handle addiction, because I've never gone near any
But casual multiverse theory research makes me wonder

About the other me

See, if you believe in redemption on earth,
You believe that your life could have been better
But you screwed up somehow since birth

My life has been too kind

I could have done better, but my circumstance couldn't have been kinder at all
I'm not sure I could be blessed better than those I know
I'm waiting for pride to give me a fall

And I think it might be this

That in some dingy alleyway
The me that started drinking, and was unable to cope with addiction
The me that fell harder
That never had people to inspire him
That circumstance was never kind to
The me that so easily could have been
That other me is going to see into this world. The one that could have been.

He'll see what I've become, and wonder (like I do) how on Earth life could have turned out as it did.
Then our universe will snap away as the other me finally vows to sort his life out.
If Hollywood has taught me anything, it's that destiny loves an underdog kid.

As the purpose of our multiverse is fulfilled and ended

I wish him best of luck this night
That other me, so far away
But I'm not going down that easily without a fight

See, if I can keep screwing up just enough
I can stop myself from being that motivation
Our universe can keep going, if I can make myself tough

It may seem unusual to be avoiding your purpose in the world
But, hey, it's mine. It's the only one I get to decide.
And it might just give you the time to let your own destiny unfurl.

Picture taken from http://throughspaceandtime.deviantart.com/gallery/

Curse this world, if you will

Curse this world, if you will
That is all too understandable and I do not blame you,
This world is known to be unkind
But yet I ask of you this

You may scream at the skies
It has brought naught but grey days
And overcast reality itself with shadows
But yet I ask of you this

Cast devilments at circumstance,
Chance alone should not lead to so a disparaging destiny
As the one seemingly in existence
But yet I ask of you this

Profess profanities at life for what it's been up to lately
For life itself seems to be struggling to keep up with itself,
And is patching up the mismatches badly
But yet I ask of you this

But yet I ask of you this most difficult of tasks

Please, I beg of you, do not curse, scream, cast devilments or profess profanities at those flawed little beings that call themselves human
They understand so little and are trying their best to find purpose
Toiling to make it to the next time this harsh world allows them to rest

They struggle day by day, against different pasts and different presents
When you finally realise all that those fatigued beings have been through
You will know there is nothing any of them should need, save kindness
This I ask you give them

A Muse

She'd was both cute and dangerous, and gosh darn did she know it

She'd inspired lovers and labourers, adventures and poets
Not a soul in this world or the next could resist her charms
Let me explain to stop you being vexed and maybe save you from harm

The most transient and beautiful thing, well after life herself see

She'd overthrown more kings than the oracles at Delphi

Her true name is unknown, she's a Goddess in most culture

She helps Fate be sewn, is more persistent than the vulture

She is bedfellows with Destiny, touching the vestibule of hearts of many a lover

Employed tirelessly to make it irresistible to you when you meet your other

That love is not always requited, yet no known person had found a way to refuse

My determination alighted, I made a pilgrimage to the being known as Muse

As a poet in training, I felt it just a part of my learning

My heart should be paining so my skill could be earning

Following the footsteps of Shakespeare, Byron and Keats

Though it was patently clear this path had witnessed many fantastic feets

I drew closer to her throne, thanking of the travesties she'd help cause
Her will was her's alone, and her history gave me pause
She'd caused hearts to break and strive, thrown men from many a cliff
Though through some she became alive, yet others she made lay stiff

My feet took me to hers, and I stared at her in awe
That I could infer one so great could ever be a flaw!
That I could ever have doubted her heart, it put me to shame
The only being worthy of the great Art done in her name

This Being too influential to deny, so beauteous to behold
She would be my path to the sky, as my sense took hold
I remember her danger. I come to sense as I linger
Deciding to stay a stranger, I showed the great Muse the finger

I walked alone long and friendless down the path I once came

Though it seemed sometimes endless, not once I felt shame

While I may have no Muse to aid my poems and writing

I hope to still amuse and, just maybe, sometimes be enlightening

Dedicated amusedly to the rather drunk girl I was chatting to at a party who absolutely refused to believe it was possible to write love poetry without any sort of muse.

My Resolution

new year, new aims.
new life, new games.
strategy changing
while staying the same

welcome to the new age
same paper different page
new life, new bird
nearly out of the cage

so here's the deal
I can now reveal
let me be clear
and let me be real

I'm not yet at my best
my life is a mess
I want to improve
I want to progress

yet somebody told me
quite patiently
I'm hard to give advice
I like their honesty

so from now
somehow
I'll listen better
even if time doesn't allow

lend sympathetic ear
actually start to hear
not just wait to talk
be happy right here

to summarise this letter
for any risky bettor
I'm going to try my best
to listen better

Round 3 (and a list of 10 poems I wrote in 2014 which I don't mind you reading if you really want to)

So, a second year down, and I've pretty much kept up my 1 poem a week challenge (I missed one week due to travelling, so wrote 3 the next week). I've now got 100+ poems in this blog. Which is kind of unreal. I still get a little buzz from writing. I get an even bigger buzz if someone actually tells me they've read it. While that's the case I'm going to keep going, I guess. At this point it's not even a choice. It's habit.

So, with that said. If you would like to read something about what I do but reading a poem each week is a challenge (very understandable), find below a list of my favourite poems this year.

The one I most love to perform - Rising Up
This one is quite simple. What would it be like to fly to the edge of space? Find out here

The one least like a poem - The Gap in Conversation
Only very loosely related to the theme of space, this one is a lot more like a very short story than anything else. There's no rhyme, no rhythm. Just words.

The most personal - Dear Thomas, Cat
While I ended up writing a lot of close to the heart stuff, this was definitely the most personal. My Cat was diagnosed with 6 weeks to live around 10 months ago. Throughout this entire year I've not been sure if he'd be here the next week. If I've seemed down at any point it's probably because I've had this thing going on in the background of my life. Only written at the end of December, this definitely summed up a lot of my feelings on the issue.

The one people who like spoken word seem to like - Scars
Definitely a very personal one. I've actually made someone cry after performing this. At the content and not at the writing, I think.

The one which describes why I'm still going next year - Dancing
I'm not good at subtlety in metaphors.

The one with the most extended metaphors - Keep Working
I am, however, good at mixing metaphors.

The one people who like poetry seem to like - Honest Tears
Failed entry to a competition. I still like it.

The best dialogue - The Moon
I performed this one with my friend Dan Shipley, and it's just lots of fun. Particularly if they don't know what's coming.

The one which started off a big project - In Which A Prologue Is Presented
In August I made a pledge to write a whole story. That lead me to produce 4 stanzas on Monday, Wednesday and Friday every week. It was difficult, and kinda fun to actually write something like a story, but I feel like it may have done better with a plan. Still a big moment in my year though to complete it.

The one which was most read - When It's Not Just The News
I wasn't going to include this one. However, it was by far my most read, and also the one I think helped the most people. It was made for the moment and feels dishonest to promote. However, as a reflection of the year, it was such a defining piece of writing that it'd also feel dishonest to leave it out. Written for many friends about one friend in particular. Read something else first.

Dear Thomas, Cat

Dear Thomas, cat
I know I talk to you all the time, but sometimes I don't feel like you can understand me
So I thought I'd try to pursue the process of communication somewhat more formally
Cause I know that although you do turn to me when I say your name each day
Do you really know it refers to you, or do you just think it means "hey"?

Dear Thomas, cat
I've known you since we were young, and we've both grown old together
We both confuse the parents with the amount of time we like spending in bad weather
We're both the most energetic and sleepy people anyone could ever meet
When playing games we can both sometimes struggle to admit defeat

Dear Thomas, cat
Do you actually enjoy it when I scratch you and stroke your fur
You certainly seem to approach something approximating a smile and a purr
We've had special games which nearly always involve you trying to catch something I try to whip away
I estimate your expression is contempt when I prod you with something if you don't (but I do) want to play

Dear Thomas, cat
It's kind of long-winded, but what I'm trying to get at in some way is this
It's a habit of mine and your other pets to try to build up a narrative about you while you exist
We try to work out when you're happy, hungry, going out or feeling great
But this game has had to become a slightly darker one of late

Dear Thomas, cat
You were given 6 weeks to live. You're now on 40 weeks and still going
And I'm trying desperately to work out what emotions you are showing
Your face is contorted. Your tongue hangs out. You dribble on every floor
It seems like the cancer must be hurting you. Causing pain, discomfort and more.

Dear Thomas, cat
I want to imagine you're a fighter. I have this great image in my mind
Of you striking back at this disease, a victory for all cat-kind
You do seem happy to see us still. I know this is merely the image I project
But while you're still seeming to smile and purr, I guess we'll assume you're happy to struggle on for just a little while yet.

Freeform: Cyborg

She's not fully human. At least not any more.
Not since involuntarily gave up a finger or four
And the rest of her hand, her thumb and her palm
Her wrist, elbow and shoulder - but please remain calm

For she means you no harm. For they built her anew
A limb to replace where she once had too few
Not fully flesh, she calls herself cyborg with a gleam
While brightly her arm reflects the smile of a sunbeam

"It's fantastic" she'd say "I'd recommend the experience
Loosing a limb is a testament to my stronger limbs' perseverance
I've got rid of the weak, only the better remain
And look I got to replace where I once had to feel pain"

It's shiny, though slightly dulled from substantial use
From having being subjected lovingly to generous abuse
It can't do everything a human arm can, but also vice-versa
She has strength she never had before - they call her "bear" or "ursa"

But this girl ain't stuck in the constellations, quite the reverse
She's loving life on earth with her gift, and never calls it a curse
And feels nothing but confusion, is even saddened slightly
When others express sympathy, of course doing so politely

"Think of all the things she'll never do. The sensations she wont enjoy.
Think how isolated she'll feel when she holds hands with a boy
She can't knit or crochet, can hardly catch a ball
It's painful to watch her eat, how does she enjoy life at all?"

And these words do annoy her, partially the obvious assumption
But mostly because she feels she has no problem with consumption
She worked hard for straight months to practice technique
Enjoying the challenge of every new skill she should seek

They don't see, can't see, how her life could be better now
The admire her bravery, without seeing it's genuine somehow
And if offered the chance to switch back? She'd know right away
She'd still be the cyborg. She prefers it this way.

Freeform: Tattoos

There are some people who just can't help but leave a mark when you meet them
Leave etches on your memories you can never delete and
Remind you of the other in the earth, those in the planet but not of the same
There are those always in the picture and then there are those that chose the frame

I tell you this so you understand just how special this wise wizened lady was to me
Standing before me voiceless at 5ft3
She'd lived life to it's fullest, never dreaming just doing
Reminding you of how much life you should be pursuing

If she had a tongue she'd curse me for hanging around such an old hack
She'd long ago lost her voice yelling at life to take its lemons back
You ask how I knew without voice this women's great heart?
It's simple. Her entire body was art.

To preserve moments of her life she'd sketched them on her skin
Never one to keep people out or hold feelings in
She was open and honest, she'd tattooed the good and the bad
A tattoo of a young boy, underlined by two dates, of the child she had had.

There was a list of lovers, each with a rating out of ten
There was her Mother's birthday, which she'd once forgotten. Tattoed to never forget again.
There was a world map, coloured in for places she'd been
Her back held the message of "a place I've never seen"

She had hearts and tears, but each held a purpose
This old lady before me, full of art that to anyone else would be worthless
But she was more than her skin. More than just colours and ink swirled.
This lady had become her own tattoo and applied herself the world.

Freeform: The circle in the square

Yo. I'm the circle in the square
The odd guy over there.
I'm the monster in the closet so you'd better beware
But maybe I'm being unfair
So let me say what I mean and you can see if you care

I know I can seem all confident and full of vigour
But that doesn't mean I don't assume people snigger
Behind my back
About social skills I lack
Things others were taught but for me fell through the crack

Is it right, is it fair, is it honest, is it true?
What do they say about me? What could I do?
I've never known if I'm cool or not
Never known if others consider me hot
All I know is there's no social awkwardness I've caused that I've ever forgot

I can assume it's normal, but never really know
Is this social anxiety natural? Can it really be though?
Don't get me wrong. I love to chat and meet people I haven't met before
But when I think of what they must think of me I head to the door
Not wanting to plague them with my presence any more

I've been called unusual. I've been called weird.
I've been outed and laughed at, but I don't think ever feared.
I'm the butt of many jokes, The stereotypical guy.
The one who is seen as all surface and no inner, but why?
I guess that's just how it goes. And why that is, man, no one knows.

Just know this
I do feel awkward
I do wonder what people think of me.
I'm aware it's probably not much
And if it is much, it's probably not good.
But I don't really mind.
Just know I've yet to meet someone I dislike.
And, if you are happy talking to me
I'm happy to stay a little longer and chat with you.